Joke of the day.................

[Colin the Bear]

That would be funny if Chameleons used colour as camouflage? Apparently they use it to communicate mood.

 

[Targa]

That would be funny if Chameleons used colour as camouflage? Apparently they use it to communicate mood.

They use it for both and relative importance of it varies with the circumstances and the species.

 

[Moz]

Heavens, it's a joke. The general public assume that chameleons change colour to match the background so the joke is that the chameleon didn't do a good job and therefore could be seen. Lighten up people.

I'd change the joke to read 'stonefish' instead of 'chameleon' but the moment has passed; wish I hadn't bothered.

 

[Vetinari]

Watch a chameleon walk across a tartan carpet...

 

[Pete Thomas]

Heavens, it's a joke. The general public assume that chameleons change colour to match the background so the joke is that the chameleon didn't do a good job and therefore could be seen. Lighten up people.

I'd change the joke to read 'stonefish' instead of 'chameleon' but the moment has passed; wish I hadn't bothered.

Don’t worry the pedantry adds to and enhances the joke IMO

 

[Targa]

Have you still got chameleons @Pete Thomas?

 

[Pete Thomas]

Have you still got chameleons @Pete Thomas?

No sadly they dies, but they did leave some offspring who were rehoused.

Meet Wayne:

 

[Targa]

Yes, I went back and read the thread about them.
They'll all have had young by now as well.

 

[JazzMatt]

I'm going to form a band called The Prevention, dont know how good we will be, but we will certainly better than The Cure.

 

[kevgermany]

I'm going to form a band called The Prevention, dont know how good we will be, but we will certainly better than The Cure.

Only if it works.

 

[ptg]

There was a wine and cheese party at the church hall but I got there late and was met at the door by the vicar who handed me a plate with some leerdammer, jarlsberg and emmental and a bottle of water and said
'I'm glad you're here holey cheeses we're out of wine'.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3KBuQHHKx0

 

[ProfJames]

 

[JazzMatt]

The inventor of hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has just died.

RIP Scott Chegg.




"The cat scratched my groin when he saw that woman from Strictly"
"Claudia Winkleman?"
"No, man, but it was close"



I'll get me cloak!

 

[ProfJames]

My mate said “what’s the biggest incentive to get out of bed these days?” “Probably a full bladder” I replied !

I’m looking for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes, but the library only has manuals.

Cop: "Sir, do you know how fast y– Are you listening to ska?"
Me: "It's the radio."
Cop: "Ok - I'm gonna need your license and reggae station."

A shop assistant stopped an armed robber by attacking him multiple times with a labelling gun...
The police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.



https://www.facebook.com/ufi/reacti..._ent_identifier=749068232096988&av=1005107395

https://www.facebook.com/ufi/reacti..._ent_identifier=749072738763204&av=1005107395

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https://www.facebook.com/ufi/reacti..._ent_identifier=749122028758275&av=1005107395

 

[ProfJames]

Someone just sent me a text asking me the best way to lift a heavy object, I messaged him straight back.



https://www.facebook.com/ufi/reacti..._ent_identifier=749690832034728&av=1005107395

 

[ProfJames]

 

[JazzMatt]

Just bought my mum a new fridge.

Can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

 

[JazzMatt]

The Pope is handing out miracles to kids in Liverpool.

Billy walks on stage and asks him, "Can you help me with my hearing?"

The Pope says, "Yes" and puts his hands on Billy's ears and prays, he removes his hands and says, "How is your hearing now?"

Billy replies, "I don't know, it's not until next Wednesday"

 

[ProfJames]

 

[ProfJames]

Went to the doctor's yesterday, with a rash. The doctor said it was probably shingles, but he ain't got time to fix them.
I thought that was a bit shaky?