Taming The Saxophone

'Scraping the Barrel' Jokes

spike

Old Indian
Subscriber
Messages
1,535
Location
Half way up a hill
#24
centipedes don’t have 100 legs?
Well it depends on the measuring system.
How many pedes does it have in the metric system?
If you convert it to the imperial sytem - 100 centipedes converts to 3.28 feet.
Which probably explains why they do wobble a bit when they walk.
Also explains why metric system centipedes don't wear boots.
I don't know what the average hourly wage is for a metric system centipede -
but just imagine a metric system centipede and an imperial system centipede decide to climb mount everest.
One've 'em is gonna need an awful lot've boots, and the centipede wearing fifty pairs of boots in deep snow . . .
Well you never know . . . but then I've never heard of a centipede climbing Mount Everest
and it would take him for everest to put his boots on anyway
 
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Moz

Senior Member
Messages
841
Location
North of Liskeard, Cornwall
#31
What do you call a man covered in leaves? Russel
What do you call a man covered in seagull crap? Cliff
What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug
And a man without a spade in his head? Douglas
Difference between a baby and a seagull? One flits across the shore, the other...
Difference between a JCB and a man with fifty kids? One has hydraulics the other has dry...


And so on, ad nauseum.
 
Messages
33
Location
Loughborough - UK
#37
I'm delivering mail on my round in Nottingham as usual. I've just heard a couple having a "heated discussion".
Her: "You love Forest more than you love me!"
Him: "I love Derby more than I love you!"
 
#38
What do you call a man covered in leaves? Russel
What do you call a man covered in seagull crap? Cliff
What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug
And a man without a spade in his head? Douglas
Difference between a baby and a seagull? One flits across the shore, the other...
Difference between a JCB and a man with fifty kids? One has hydraulics the other has dry...


And so on, ad nauseum.
What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen...

Greg S.
 

Colin the Bear

Well-Known Member
Messages
10,885
Location
Burnley bb9 9dn
#39
And then there were the books and authors

The Cliff Accident by Eileen Dover

Alpine Cycling by Rudyard Pedaling.

The Scottish Cloakroom by Angus McCoatup

Indian Winterwear by Mahatma Coat

Indian Karaoke by Gerupta Singh

I used to know many more:headscratch:
 
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