Joke of the day.................

[trimmy]

A father and son were eating breakfast. The fathers newspaper had the headline "Van Gogh sold for £8 million".
The son asked "is he worth it, Dad?", to which the father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Balotelli, and he's crap" !

 

[Colin the Bear]

Two sweet old ladies alighting the bus on market day.

"Ohhh! It's windy"

"No dear it's Thursday"

" Yes.. so am I . Let's get a cup of tea"

 

[Targa]

A man walked into a bar.

And said ' Oh no, not again'.

 

[Colin the Bear]

Two cannibals eating a clown. One stops...looks at the other one and says

" Does this taste a bit funny to you?"

 

[trimmy]

A man walked into a bar.

and said "ouch that hurt"

 

[trimmy]

Some may say so !!!
http://cafesaxophone.com/threads/kenny-g-is-a-great-saxplayer.15719/#post-210463

 

[Targa]

A man walked into a bar.
Died.
God sent him to Limbo.

 

[Lizengar]

Two sweet old ladies alighting the bus on market day.

"Ohhh! It's windy"

"No dear it's Thursday"

" Yes.. so am I . Let's get a cup of tea"

I actually laughed really loud at this one.

Basically the joke I written was not so much of a joke but rather...it started when Colin had his first post that said a man walked into the bar and said "ow", and it was a Native American bar.

Then Targa said a man walked into a bar and said "ow". To which my joke is "A man walked into a bar". So I am slowly shortening the 'jokes'. It was a bad joke, I admit.

 

[saxplorer]

The old ones are the best ...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub.

The landlord looks at them and says ...

(All together now)

"What is this, some sort of a joke?"

 

[jbtsax]

Two old ladies were sitting in church, and one said to the other, "Oh dear, I've sat in the pew so long my bottom has gone to sleep". Her friend replied, "I know. I have heard it snoring".

 

[Alan G]

A pair of jump leads went into a bar. The barman said I hope you two are not going to start anything.

 

[Colin1]

Two parrrots sitting on a perch
One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

 

[Jeanette]

No fish jokes allowed it will only lead one way and we had a plateful here

Jx

 

[Melissa]

You know there is a band called 200MB

Sadly, they have no gigs yet.

(ok, it is a little yawn.sorry)

 

[Alan G]

The latest thing is viagra eye drops.They just make you look hard.

 

[Lizengar]

Heard this from my brother who heard it when he was in church.

A man went to the doctor and said, "doctor, I think my wife is deaf. Each time I talk to her, she does not reply. What should I do?"

So the doctor said, "mister, I would suggest you stand 10m away from your wife and ask her a question. Each time you ask, wait. If she does not respond, walk 1m towards her and ask. Do it until she hears you."

So the man went home, he stood 10m at the other end of the room while his wife is in the kitchen. He yelled, "darling, what is for dinner tonight?" No response. So he walked 1m towards her. At 9m, he yelled "darling dear, what is for dinner tonight?" No response again.

He continued doing this until he was 1m away from his wife, and once more he yelled "darling, what is for dinner tonight?"

The wife turned, looks at him and said "honey, for the 10th time I told you, we are having meatloaf tonight!"

 

[trimmy]

The latest thing is viagra eye drops.They just make you look hard.

Or keep you up all night !!

 

[Colin1]

Tom's sitting in the pub having a pint when in walks his mate Harry
"Hi Harry.." says Tom and looking around warily "..where's the missus?"
"She's upped and gone to the West Indies" replied Harry
"Jamaica?"
"Nope - she went of her own accord.."

 

[Jonesy]

The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh were visiting an old folk's home.
The Duke stopped to talk to an old lady and said "Do you know who I am?".
She replied "No, but hold on a minute". Then she shouted across the room, "Matron! There's an old gentleman here who doesn't know who he is".

 

[ProfJames]

Just bought a new dog, it's a cross between a King Charle's spaniel and an alsatian.........................it's called a King's Cross Station!!!!