I hate musical instruments

[Bobby G]

Jools apparently hates the trombone after being forced to play one at school. Does anyone else have a hatred of any particular musical instrument through being made to play it, or merely because the sound grates in some way?

 

[jonf]

Bagpipes.

No, that's not right, bagpipes aren't musical instruments, they're weapons of war.

 

[Jules]

not exactly an instrument but Vocoders give me the creeps- there's something really sinister about the fact the sound isn't quite human, but is more than a synth...

 

[Tenor Sax]

Not sure if you can call it a MUSICAL Instrument.......Kazoo!

I say no more.
:x

 

[philthd]

the stereo in my sixth form common room was ruled by the fans of pounding club music - really not what my friends and i wanted to listen to whilst chilling out of a lunchtime - so we used to play kazoos along to all the riffs in order to make everyone else feel as annoyed as we were.

man, i was an arse



i used to have an irrational hatred of flutes and violins, but i think thats mostly because most of te people i heard playing them were so bad

 

[Bobby G]

There is one thing I really can't bear, I think it's the Yamaha DX7 synthesiser - well, not the synth itself, more a couple of the sounds; firstly, that kind of wheedling 'glass harmonica' sound as heard on Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It", and secondly that kind of dreamy, teary, chiming, smug-sounding (copyright Bill Bailey) almost-piano found in the moody intro of every American 'love-song' in the 80's. Yes I mean you Whitney Houston.

I suppose the human voice could be called an instrument too, in which case there are plenty of those which really grate on me, but overall I can't really think of an instrument I totally hate. I even like the bagpipes

 

[frankb]

Melodica or recorder played by primary school kids...

 

[Bobby G]

FrankB wrote:
Melodica or recorder played by primary school kids...

And tuned woodblocks Frank? Sounds like you've had some bad experiences at your littluns' school concert.

Personally I find that stuff charming but I am a softy :erm:

 

[frankb]

No littluns here, but enough school concerts to constitute aversion therapy...! >.<

 

[jools]

oooh. I feel a rant coming on.

Obvious list of supects get my vote: jazz 'plonky-plonky' banjo (hardcore bluegrass is terrific!); 'postcard style' Highland bagpipes (sorry Bobby - though I love Irish Uilleann and Northumbrian smallpipes); "brass ensemble" setting on ANY keyboard.... and that long tubular, sliding brass thing. Oh what's it called now? 😉

 

[frankb]

Manually Operated Pitch Approximator (MOPA)?

 

[Jules]

Jools wrote:
"brass ensemble" setting on ANY keyboard

Good call! Very nasty stuff indeed. Though in the 1980s there was a strange love of putting so much compression on brass sections that they sounded like synths anyway.
Uillean pipes- is Troy still around in York?.... phenominal pipe player who treated his pipes very much as if they were a rock guitar, had a 'celtic/ptog rock' outfit back in my day called You Slosh.

 

[dooce]

Bl**dy theramin. Horrible, wobbly-sounding, shrieking contraption. Although Alison Goldfrapp has an entertaining way with one....... :whistle:

 

[philthd]

4 words dooce "noises for the leg"

 

[jools]

Hey Juules...
You've mentioned "You Slosh" before, still no wiser. Have you any contacts there? - I might try and track them down.

 

[Jules]

Observe-York in Days of Yore- http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=98485331

 

[dooce]

philthD wrote:
4 words dooce "noises for the leg"

3 words "Emerson Lake Palmer"

:x

 

[philthd]

fortunately i have managed to live a life almost entirely free of prog rock

but the thought of using a theramin to play it is, indeed, disturbing

 

[Jules]

Theramins work superbly to evoke a 1950s B-Movie! Love 'em!

 

[Bobby G]

Theremins also work extremely well on Good Vibrations, and also with Arthur Brown's Kingdom Come especially when played through a delay.

I have managed to live my life in a house with plenty of prog in it; anything 'eccentric' or 'far-out man' is ok, but yes, ELP :x