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I guess I'm getting old...

I just don't get it. I guess these guys are just so far away from having kids that they had no interest whatsoever in mine, which is fine. But it got me thinking. Did they not know any nursery rhymes? Or where they just too cool to play them? Its not like they were in the middle of their set. I wasn't being that guy who interrupts their performance with an oddball request.

It might not be just that they thought themselves too cool to play for kids. A lot of people in their teens and twenties (especially men, but I suppose women too) just don't know how to act around children. If you don't have any siblings that are more than just a handful of years younger than yourself, all your friends are around your age and thus usually don't have any children, chances are you've never really met any children. Seen and heard a few of them in the bus or restaurant, but that's about it.

I remember being queasy around children before I had any of my own. It's not that I hated them or anything, I just had no idea what to say or what to do. Also, young kids don't follow many social norms, so you never know what question they'll present to you next. And since a lot of parents around here seem rather... uptight, you really have to be careful about how you answer.

I recall most of my friends were a bit uneasy around my first born at first, as I was the first guy in our circle to have children. I was 23 then. But most of them got used to kids pretty fast.

So a few years back I might've said sorry, I don't know any nursery rhymes; not out of meanness, but because I couldn't have thought of anything else to say.
 
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That probably sounds archaic in this day and age, but no one will convince me it's the wrong way to be.
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Good manners and respect never sound archaic. I've always found it wrong to just accept the growing disrespect people for each other because its common. Nothing is wrong with trying to do a bit better. Your post shows that idea of respect for the client who hired the band, and the people listening. The best way to go in any age no matter what contemporary thinking might say about it.
 
So a few years back I might've said sorry, I don't know any nursery rhymes; not out of meanness, but because I couldn't have thought of anything else to say.
But that "sorry" would have made a big difference.
 
I hate it when people act like this, I've been with a few bands who would turn away or ignore someone that asked for a request. My opinion would be to have a go, or at least laugh it off somehow.

Whilst I was busking, a woman asked me to play happy birthday for her son, she gave me a couple of quid so I did just that! he laughed and enjoyed the attention. I saw them about three more times and each time I saw them, I immediately broke into happy birthday again and each time they both laughed harder than the last time. It probably did me no favours towards bookings or anything like that but it made me laugh too!
 
If I stood there I would've played it for the little man and your son too ;-)

Well I remember one "nursery rime" from my recorder lessons and can still play it on allmost every instrument it`s only 3 notes.. B-A-G

Butt I'm not a jazz musician (only in my own room).. At the venues I play I dont see a lot of children, only at a wedding once but nobody asked for requests (fixed set)
 
Superpapaben,

My parents told me a story which I think is apt. Apparantly when I was four, (55 years ago), a well known department store here in sunny Newcastle, (Fenwick), had a tea room with a band. There are old photo's in one of their cafes of this very band. My father told me that on my first trip there I was transfixed by the band and stood in front of them fastinated. The people dancing danced round me and the band leader called me up for a song, gave me some maraca's and stood me at the front of the stage letting me play along. I have a vauge recolection of this. A cute story yes but it just shows, professionals had time for a kid.

As musicians we should be encouraging kids not taking a cheap opportunity to look cool.
 
However you handle it, you've only got one chance at customer service. Get it right and everyone remembers it for the right reason. Get it wrong and you reputation has gone.
 
These kind of " players " I cannot understand. a huge part of being a musician is how we behave both off and on stage. Children are our future players, doctors, dentists. It angers me. These guys collective egos. How difficult is it to sit with a youngster, let them handle your horn, play them a tune or two? I get great pleasure in these small acts. At least, you have made them happy. At best, possibly sown a seed. My way?...Take my own horn and invite them to play up against me. Music is not a competition. From time to time however, people need a reality check. Bud x
 
I sometimes get the chance to work with a busker, trumpet player and we do a few standards together. This guy makes a good living from busking and the thing that comes across most of all he loves what he does and plays for the audience, so if they want happy birthday, wheels on the bus or a classical piece he will do it, with a backing track. i asked him how many backing tracks he carries the answer about 2000. Also has about 500 pieces of sheet music.
Always draws a crowd always smiling always taking the cash, could that be linked?
 
when I was playing in an Army band, we had to be ready for all sorts from happy birthday, various national anthems because people would ask and we tried to provide. So we had what we called a mess card that had the most popular of these tunes and carried them everywhere we went.

We also use to start off some concerts with a demonstration of the different instruments by each player playing a little ditty, sometimes from the mess card.

At one school you could hear the tuba player groaning as people played another tune from his card until there was only the national anthem left. we had pinched his card without him knowing and gave all of the tunes to other players. God save the queen on tuba sounded very nice!!!! it was worth it to see the panic on his face.

I have played happy birthday whilst busking as a request and that cheered up the old boy in the bus queue, and If a child comes up to you I always stop and chat to them. not only is it polite but the parents appreciate it and normally donate too.
Manners cost nothing!
 
I agree with the concensus. There is no need to be rude especially with kids. I may not have any but I still wouldn't be unpleasant. My band plays outside our local supermarket at Christmas each year and we are always getting requests for Rudolph/Jingle Bells from kids. it doesn't matter if it is the 1st or the 21st time of asking they still get the full works complete with bobbing up and down musicians - we even keep some small bells handy so they can join in.

I still remember having a famous person blank me when i was a kid and I know how upset I was.
 
Superpapaben,

My parents told me a story which I think is apt. Apparantly when I was four, (55 years ago), a well known department store here in sunny Newcastle, (Fenwick), had a tea room with a band. There are old photo's in one of their cafes of this very band. My father told me that on my first trip there I was transfixed by the band and stood in front of them fastinated. The people dancing danced round me and the band leader called me up for a song, gave me some maraca's and stood me at the front of the stage letting me play along. I have a vauge recolection of this. A cute story yes but it just shows, professionals had time for a kid.

As musicians we should be encouraging kids not taking a cheap opportunity to look cool.

Hi RL Mention of Fenwicks brings back many happy memories. They used to have a concave mirror in their front window. (I bet thats gone.) and apart from the Turks Head Hotel Fenwicks was the place to take tea. Regds N
 
My parents tell a story of a famiy holiday to Scotland when I was about 3 yrs old. There was a parade and they suddenly noticed i was missing.

A frantic search later and they found me marching next to the drum major at the head of the band! Bless him, at no point did he try to stop me. He was happy to encourage me!

I guess that may explain why I like to march to the beat of my own drum!!!
 
The Victorians were correct, children should be seen and not heard.>:)
 
My parents tell a story of a famiy holiday to Scotland when I was about 3 yrs old. There was a parade and they suddenly noticed i was missing.

A frantic search later and they found me marching next to the drum major at the head of the band! Bless him, at no point did he try to stop me. He was happy to encourage me!


I guess that may explain why I like to march to the beat of my own drum!!!


Probably get an invite for a stay in the Jimmy Saville suite at the local nick these days
 
Hi RL Mention of Fenwicks brings back many happy memories. They used to have a concave mirror in their front window. (I bet thats gone.) and apart from the Turks Head Hotel Fenwicks was the place to take tea. Regds N

I remember that window, we used to call it Fenwick's funny window. Your right, it's gone. They used to have a rocking horse called Walter that i can remember riding on when we were in town. They brought it out for some anniversary a few years ago.

Ahh the old days.
 
Not all bands do requests. This from Ronnie Scott. " We don't do requests, but we would like to dedicate the next number to the lady who asked us to play The Yellow Rose of Texas, as it uses a lot of the same notes."

Jim.
 

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