Humor Prof poor humour

View on Social Feed
Waitress: Welcome to the Karma cafe.
Me: What do you sell here?
Waitress: Just desserts.
Just heard a man collapsed on the London Eye
Paramedics on site say he is slowly coming round
My aunt used to work at the factory that produced street lamps. She told us that the cafeteria always offered a light lunch.
The spelling for Irish names is a pet piamh of mine.
I have no legs , I've had 150 fights without defeat
 
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
 
When I first realised I'd got tickets to see a female Tommy Cooper/Monkees tribute act I was sceptical.
But then I saw her fez.

I've just been watching the Innuendo MastermInd Quiz. It was a bit of a tight one. I was due to appear, but had to pull out at the last minute

My Gran was 80% Irish,
Her name was Iris.

I use to go out with a girl from the Alopecia Society until we had a falling out, well actually she dumped me, still it's hair loss.
 
Great service from our waitress on a recent trip to Ireland and then realised when I got back to England I never left a gratuity. So I went back the next day,
It’s a long way to tip a Mary

I’m reading a book about a short ballerina
The girl with the dragging tutu

Windy?! Next door's chicken has laid the same egg fourteen times.......

I'm always a little nervous when a woman sees me naked for the first time. I'm afraid she might run out of the park.

I'm a reclusive vegetarian - I really like my peas and quiet.
 
273838992_10221007194025179_6606065373022872784_n.webp
 
My Spanish neighbour has told me off for playing Madness songs too loud.
Miguels mad at me...

I went to watch a Polish Pink Floyd tribute act. It was cheaper and they finished The Wall in half the time.

I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki.
I dropped her off at work one day and she just vanished into Finnair...
 

Join us in the Cafe!

Social

New! Social Feeds

Look out for the navigation icon:

Follow CafeSaxophone

Latest Song of the Month

Member Blogs (currently active)

Trending

Popular Discussions

Forum statistics

Topics
32,041
Messages
577,731
Members
8,117
Latest member
H3nri
Back
Top Bottom