DO I TELL THE BAND WHERE TO SHOVE IT?

Tenor Sax · Sep 25, 2007

I know what a strange posting this is, however I need to get a feel from like minded people if my contemplated actions should surge forward or chill and see what the wind blows-in. (no pun intended but one I will Use in future)

For the last nine months I have played for my local City Band. All voluntary and concerts given free. During this time I Often struggled at practice with little or no music or used the score for Obo. These rare items follow the main section leaders. Due to work or illness over the past three months those persons have been absent from practice sessions. What music I have had in the past are my own copies made with some difficulties and expense. Being the only tenor turning up for practice sessions for the last three weeks I was handed two copies for the tenors of one score last week.

Yesterday afternoon I contacted the Conductor and informed him I would not be attending the practice session that evening as my Wife was on rest having returned home from Hospital the day before and needed constant supervision. I will add at this point rarely do other members inform anyone of there absence, you find out when the chair is empty. The Conductor was sympathetic and understanding.

At 8.00pm (band starts at 7.30pm) I received a phone call from the treasurer of the band trying to be polite but very instant. " You have the only music for the tenors. we need it here" I explained my situation and also reminded her if three tenors were there ( no comment please) At least one of them should have music. The Score I was given last week was mentioned......at this point the pressure of commitment became too much. I phoned my in-laws to look look after my wife and drove the short distance to the hall. Only Ten minuets drive. This did cause some upset with the wife and I. Looking back I should have told them to collect it or forget it. Either way I was pressurised into making the journey.

My feeling are to cut my ties with the band. ?? As a volunteer should this total disregard of a persons difficulties be allowed. ???

Pete Thomas · Sep 25, 2007

Seems like the other tenors didn't bother to show up last week, you were expected to hang on to their music as if you are the librarian. They were wrong to make you look after other people's music, just because theye didn't show.

suethesax · Sep 25, 2007

I'm not surprised you are upset with the treasurer - he/she appears to have very little empathy. Unless you are the librarian you should not be expected to be responsible for the section music. As for leaving that depends on how much you enjoy playing with the band. Only you can decide that. If it were me and I got a lot of pleasure from playing with them, I would probably have a quiet word with the treasurer re the situaton and make it clear how I felt. Hope it works out and htat your wife is well.

Tenor Sax · Sep 25, 2007

Hi Pete,

I cooling down a little now.

In retrospect ,I'm starting to believe its the mentality of two of the three tenors involved. One is related to the two background non-playing members who issue the music. Dare I say it.....he works in the Mc.. place with the other clowns.

>:)

That felt good..

Chris

Tenor Sax · Sep 25, 2007

Hi Sue,

Thank you for your comments.

I do indeed get a lot of pleasure playing with the band. My reserved thought were exactly as your reply. I have emailed the secretary my feelings and await the outcome.

Its amazing how much better I feel. Hope I wasn't to blunt????

jadoube · Sep 25, 2007

Blunt? Having a rant here, then taking time for a more considered approach seems an exceptionally wise way of going about things.

Hope it all turns out OK

John

Saxlicker · Sep 25, 2007

Hang in there Chris...

Just prepare one short summary in preparation for anyone who thinks they have a point to make and stick to it!

I'd say simply....."not my fault ......now go work it out for yourself"

Apologise to your wife 😛 and don't give them the chance to blame you in future. Just look after your own interest.

Hope thats not too blunt for them!

Tenor Sax · Sep 26, 2007

Thank you all for your support and comments, all valued.

Many years ago I was very head strong, some may say pig head. I have mellowed over the years and take the passive approach. Not always a good thing, In the past I would let rip when persons annoyed me, now it sits there and boils.

as they say "Its good to talk"

Rogerb · Sep 26, 2007

I think I'd have just said "If you want them , feel free to send someone to collect them...... I have another, higher, priority"

(I speak as someone whose wife is in hospital at the mo..... is there anything more important than looking after your family?)

Tenor Sax · Sep 26, 2007

Rogerb wrote:
I think I'd have just said "If you want them , feel free to send someone to collect them...... I have another, higher, priority"

(I speak as someone whose wife is in hospital at the mo..... is there anything more important than looking after your family?)

Hi Roger,

Yes you are correct, Family must always come first.

Isn't it strange. We all try and live by these rules. In most cases those who put pressure on others are indeed family people themselves but still expect you to jump. Had I lived further than a stones throw I'm sure it would have been a different story.

On a positive note I received email to hopefully eliminate future problems. Not bore you with the details

Hope your wife has a speedy recovery Roger.

Regards
Chris