Miscellaneous Do any of you ever read the Musical Instrument Jokes?

[Greg Strange]

What's the difference between a banjo player and a locksmith?

A locksmith gets paid to change keys.

What's the difference between a banjo and South American Macaw?

One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; and the other is a bird.

Where do banjo players play best?

In a galaxy far, far away...

🙂))

I'll pick on kazoo players next...now for some kazoo jokes...

Greg S.

 

[jbtsax]

A few of my favorites

How can you tell which is the trombonists child on the playground?
He is the one who is pretty good on the slide, but doesn't know how to swing. 🙂

How can you tell if there is a vocalist at your door?
She can't find the key, and doesn't know when to come in.

Conductor to the choreographer: "How would you like the tempo this time, too fast or too slow"?

What is the difference between a school bari sax and a garbage truck?
One is a crud encrusted large metal object. The other is a sanitation vehicle?

What do viola players use for birth control?
Their personalities.

Definition of a string quartet:
A group of string players, each of whom thinks he/she is saving the group.

 

[aldevis]

Definition of a string quartet:

A good violin player, a bad violin player, a failed violin player and someone that hates violin players.

 

[old git]

A good violin player, a bad violin player, a failed violin player and someone that hates violin players.

Can the same be said of sax quartets, Four Brothers excepted of course?

 

[aldevis]

Can the same be said of sax quartets, Four Brothers excepted of course?

A saxophone section:
a good reader, a bad reader, a good soloist, a bad soloist, a baritone sax owner.

Is it funny? Is it too true?

 

[BigMartin]

A saxophone section:
a good reader, a bad reader, a good soloist, a bad soloist, a baritone sax owner.

Is it funny? Is it too true?

Speaking as the baritone sax owner, I can only say "ouch!".

 

[Lodger]

Possibly one of the oldest ones, which probably accounts for the gender bias!

Definition of a gentleman: one who can play the saxophone (or accordion/instrument of your choice), but doesn't.

 

[Tenor Viol]

People at the bottom of the building probably care...could be quite embarrassing reading the headlines the next day-

"Man Killed By Accordion"
"Woman Strung Up By A Viola"
"Paper Boy Strangled By Bagpipes And Not A Scotsman In Sight"🙂))

If you're going to get killed by a musical instrument I think I would go the classy way - squashed by a Borensdorfer Imperial Grand Piano...go out in style...🙂

Cheers,

Greg S.

Indeed: try here teh music doesn't start till about 2m40s

 

[altissimo]

An explorer is staying in a remote jungle village. The natives treat him well, but he's unable to sleep due to the constant sound of drumming. After a couple of restless nights he approaches the tribal elders and asks if the drumming ever stops. "No, No" comes the reply "If drums stop, very bad" "why, what happens if the drums stop?" "if drums stop, then comes the bass solo.."