This newspaper clipping is just to funny to ignore: how the poor chappie broke his collarbone

[Tenortoon]

FNARFNARFNAR!!!! I had my XT500 in the lounge, tried to kickstart it on the sidestand and the kickback launched me off the bike over the sofa. I looked up to see my girlfriend sitting deadpan watching me over the rim of her teacup. You know that "old-fashioned" look. I did used to get a lot of that look. The time I used (a bit too much) petrol to light the bbq, and it went "WHOOMF" in a huge expanding bubble of flame, while my cat, who'd been lying on the ground, turned into an inch-high tortoiseshell streak heading into the middle-distance.

 

[Colin the Bear]

How do you make a cat bark? Pour petrol on it and light it. Wooof!

 

[Tenortoon]

News update on this topic, after the exit of herself, I finally got back in the saddle,very happy, and a bit too reckless at this stage. No tar roads around, but loving it on the dirt. When I figure out how to make a photo smaller, I'll post it up here.

 

[Ivan]

News update on this topic, after the exit of herself...

Would it be rude to enquire whether herself flounced out, slamming the front door, in the time honoured manner? Or whether you arranged something speedier and more dramatic involving the lounge motorbike and the patio door?

 

[Tenortoon]

Would it be rude to enquire whether herself flounced out, slamming the front door, in the time honoured manner? Or whether you arranged something speedier and more dramatic involving the lounge motorbike and the patio door?

Good lordy lord, no! I'm an unswerving traditionalist, with high old-fashioned moral standards, so obviously the flouncing out and slamming of doors were mandatory, though accompanied by other, almost biblical yet hilarious calamities. Yea, verily, we must all have our pound of flesh to grill on the altar of those burning bridges. The more angry some people get, the funnier they are... Though in fairness , I didn't feel like playing the sax for two years after that...