It sounds to me like you're progressing brilliantly!Hi Alice,
I can really relate to what you are saying here, I remember when I had just started playing I started off with lessons every week and realised I did not have enough time to do homework, I then decided on fortnightly lessons. After a while I felt this was slowing me down, I then decided to join a concert band. Although I enjoyed it I felt I couldn't catch up and ended up going back to weekly lessons, I still had no time for homework and went back to fortnightly lessons. I did this for a while before doing a jazz course at citylit for a year which I really loved and enjoyed. After this I began self teaching with music books and had fun doing my own thing but felt I was not advancing as I stayed within my comfort zone and avoided doing scales. I later abandoned this method and decided I wanted to do grades, got myself another teacher and this put me under so much pressure, I then decided I was going to learn to play by ear and put all the books down. Since learning to play by ear I have had so much fun.
Now my dilemma is I have now returned to the concert band and since returning I have gained a lot of confidence, but I have found out when I do get lost on the music sheet (tends to happen when there are too many quavers or semi quavers) if it is a song I am familiar with I find I unconsciously begin to play by ear. Although I am having fun doing what I do now, I still question whether I should do grades, keep playing alongside songs I like, stick with the concert band or get myself a teacher? I sometimes think I am going round in circles.
I must say I have been to John Seeley's workshops and have had a fantastic time, I have also had occaissional lessons with him and he is a very good teacher and a very lovely person but distance and work life do not permit me to have lessons with him on a regular basis.
I don't really know what is meant by "playing by ear" .. Is that when you hear a note and know exactly what it is? I can't recognize notes yet, I have to perform with trial and error until I find it and then memorise it. For that reason alone, i'm learning how to read it.
I think perhaps you would gain from having a teacher again just so that you can progress on to even more stimulating and rewarding music, as reading your post, I think that's what you'd like.