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Message: <blockquote data-quote="stephen_howard" data-source="post: 577016" data-attributes="member: 10212">Dear Mr. Git,It is regrettable that your unfortunate accident has caused you so much personal pain and inconvenience, and that we are unable to meet upon the field of honour ( or more strictly speaking, the front garden of Mrs. C. Trellis of Mornington Crescent ).I took the liberty of consulting my manservant on the matter - in his previous engagement as a fluffer ( something to do with soft furnishing, so he tells me ) he found that his income was less than expected and took part-time work as a Sommelier for a deposed foreign royal by the name of King Burger...a German chappy, I suspect - and he assures me that that you needn't waste what scant funds you have on Guinness and Glendfiddich - you'd be better off buying a catering-size drum of Cillit Bang, which, he tells me, will be both far more efficacious and flavoursome as well as being considerably cheaper. He recommends serving it chilled in a sour-glass, with a sprig of broccoli on the side.I have also asked a medical colleague of my acquaintance to call upon you. Lovely chap, most agreeable, name of Alan - but you can call him Al.He specialises in fingers, hence his nickname 'Digit Al'.I would, however, strongly advise you to refuse any offer he might make of a game of Canasta - he has been ejected from several gambling establishments for card counting.Yours etc etc...</blockquote>