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Zinc Plate Your Saxophone.

old git

Tremendous Bore
Messages
5,545
Following this morning's news that experiments show that doses of zinc will relieve that curse of the saxophonist, the common cold, the Croydon and Sarf Lundun Massive are making Cafe Saxophone members an offer to enjoy the protection of this latest discovery, at a VERY SPECIAL PRICE!

Send us your complete fully insured saxophone outfit, with mouthpieces, ligatures and reeds and we will either fit our special and undetectable, Patented Zinc Slow Release Unit in the saxophone, mouthpiece, ligature or reed, whichever is deemed most suitable or Zinc Plate your saxophone for an incredible new and street credible look*. This will also protect Griff and Stephen, our two favourite technicians who we are placing at risk by asking them to handle our disease ridden pads. Okay, Kev has just completed a repad but he is just a moderator, so who cares?

*The CaSLM reserve the right to.make an additional post-treatment charge if this option proves popular.
 

teebones

Member
Subscriber
Messages
203
Following this morning's news that experiments show that doses of zinc will relieve that curse of the saxophonist, the common cold, the Croydon and Sarf Lundun Massive are making Cafe Saxophone members an offer to enjoy the protection of this latest discovery, at a VERY SPECIAL PRICE!

Send us your complete fully insured saxophone outfit, with mouthpieces, ligatures and reeds and we will either fit our special and undetectable, Patented Zinc Slow Release Unit in the saxophone, mouthpiece, ligature or reed, whichever is deemed most suitable or Zinc Plate your saxophone for an incredible new and street credible look*. This will also protect Griff and Stephen, our two favourite technicians who we are placing at risk by asking them to handle our disease ridden pads. Okay, Kev has just completed a repad but he is just a moderator, so who cares?

*The CaSLM reserve the right to.make an additional post-treatment charge if this option proves popular.

You Forgot to Add the Price and Donation to Pete's Charity. :))) :)))

Tony (another old git) :w00t:
 

old git

Tremendous Bore
Messages
5,545
Pete is already the President of the CaSLM whether he wishes to be or not and already gets his cut of the scams, sorry, business projects.

You need to hurry Teebones if you wish to take advantage of this offer, which MIGHT grant you everlasting health. We are unable to maintain this ultra low price as we need to recoup the vast research and development costs.
 

Fraser Jarvis

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,910
git;39514]
Send us your complete fully insured saxophone outfit, with mouthpieces, ligatures and reeds and we will either fit our special and undetectable, Patented Zinc Slow Release Unit in the saxophone, mouthpiece, ligature or reed, whichever is deemed most suitable or Zinc Plate your saxophone for an incredible new and street credible look*.
Ha, ha, ................ Alternatively you could just send them to us and as Zinga applicators for the midlands we could just spray apply the zinc, may not look very pretty but you will have full galvanic protection and should last you yearshttp://www.zinga-uk.com :)
 

Young Col

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,419
...and the other thing is that if you don't have a cold you won't have to worrry about that nasal tone any more.
Refresh my memory Bill, are you going to do the zinc plating in your - sorry that special, bath, or were you intending to borrow my pond?
YC
 

old git

Tremendous Bore
Messages
5,545
Colin,
Still dissolving someone's mother-in-law, well they made too good an offer to resist. Is there a class at Fish Fanciers Shows for Zinc Plated Koi? Otherwise we can just use the shallow end of your lake.

That Fraser geezer is trying to muscle in on our hood, can you send Fingers around to him for meaningful discussion? He is out of Broadmoor, isn't he?
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,947
To misquote Frankie Howerd

'It is a well known fact that the zinc leaching out of the brass in unlacquered saxes and metal mouthpieces gives more than adequate protection from common skin problems, common cold and common bad taste'. Absorption through the fingers, sweaty palms and lips is fast painless and odourless. Red spots may appear in the brass if zinc abuse occurs.
 

Fraser Jarvis

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,910
He is out of Broadmoor, isn't he?
Would it be safe to assume that if a non musical, non saxophone playing member of the general public just happened across the cafe site, and in perticular this thread, that they would think we were all in Broadmoor?

Keep taking the medication guys, we sure as hell need it!

Fraser.
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,947
Would it be safe to assume that if a non musical, non saxophone playing member of the general public just happened across the cafe site, and in perticular this thread, that they would think we were all in Broadmoor?

Keep taking the medication guys, we sure as hell need it!

Fraser.

I think most psychiatrists and psychologists would consider us all candidates. But who isn't?
 

old git

Tremendous Bore
Messages
5,545
Col mate,
CaSLM continental agent, Kev the Hun, has achieved some Cafe Moderator status, resulting in bigger boots syndrome. After Fingers has had a word with this Jarvis bloke, tell him he can have a week in Hamburg on expenses after giving some education in person to Kev about the efficacy of our plating service.
Spare passports in Miss W's music case.
 

Stephen Howard

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,959
As a satisfied customer of Mr Git's celebrated Patented Zinc Slow Release Unit I felt compelled to write in to share my experience of this most effacacious treatment.
For many years previously I had suffered terribly from the quodge, the lurgy, spons on the knees and krutty nadgers - so much so that I was unable to attend the weekly gathering of local musicians in the back room of the Tart and Scandal, for the purposes of an impromptu gigge.
I tried, quite unsuccessfully, a number of aternative treaments to rid me of my agues various, including the Rothman's Diet (24 packs a day), the Lard Plan and Betty Swonger's "The Watney Way" course. None of these esteemed treatments had any effect at all, and my sax-o-phune remained unplayed.
And then I chanced upon Mr Git and his Patented Zinc remedy - and my life changed completely!
Gone were the krutties and the spons, away with the quodge and the lurgy - it even cleared up a dose of the splinge...which I didn't even know I had!!
I am now able to attend the weekly musical gathering, where my sax-o-phune playing is lauded by all and sundry.
I cannot thank Mr Git enough, and feel sure that he will be remembered in next year's honours list (and deservedly so).

I wholeheartedly recommend this product and urge each of you to rush with all due expediency to his door - you will not regret it.
It has turned my life around, and I can say with all honesty...I zinc, therefore I jam.
 

Young Col

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,419
Well there you are all, an eminent satisfied customer. Just as with Medicinal Compound "Most efficaceous in every case". Roll up, roll up now!
As to using the lake Bill, well even the shallow end is out of bounds until the frogs stop mating. Just have to give the punters some excuse about supply difficulties.

Broadmoor? Well I think that imortal line of Dustin Hoffman's in The Graduate is very apt for zinc plating:
Isn't that a half baked idea?
Oh no Sir, it's completely baked.
YC
 
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