Oh my god is all I can say. How glad am I that that is over!
I've had this gig booked for quite a while, not a bad earner either. It was a wedding for a very pleasant young couple. They had a DJ who had agreed to let me plug in and go through his desk, but I took enough kit in the car just in case. That's always quite nice using someone elses stuff as it saves all that packing up afterwards. Luckily, the DJ was the brides cousin, so giving me a good sound was definitely in his interest.
I was booked to play for an hour and then play the happy couples first dance. I set up my things whilst the speeches were just finishing and managed to get away without dropping anything or making too much noise. Well seven o'clock came and it was my turn to play some background material to fill the void whilst the evening guests arrived. As I was just starting, it happened. All the lovely little children
, who had been forced to sit still in the church, then through the meal and then again through the speeches, and who were now full of sugar and e numbers, erupted like a tidal surge, a veritable tsunami and it was all coming in my direction :shocked:. I think at this stage, I would have felt less terrified facing fifteen All Blacks doing the Haka! Attila the Hun would have been a more welcome sight to behold, but no, this seathing mass was heading in my direction and not a parent in sight! Just at that moment the first notes to the intro of my first song echoed into my ears. I had to start, the how must go on!
I put my professional head on and though to myself, "Come on Taz, you can do it!" and with that I put my mouthpiece between my lips and started to play. Whack! A child ran into me from behind. Thump! Another child ran into my side! Clonk! One actually ran into my sax, almost knocking my front teeth out! I had a quick look and no one was paying me much attention, so I shot a stare at one of the kids, it was a look that I had perfected on my own kids many years before. Apparently I still posses the power to scare little children with just a glance. Phew.
Eventually it got to a point that I actually had to stop my performance, walk up to the nearest guest and I asked if he could ask the parents of these little darlings to come and keep the little f.... ooo, nearly.. angels away from me as someone was going to get hurt and I knew damn well it wouldn't be me! Low and behold, the guy I spoke to, who was standing not ten feet from me, and had been watching the whole debacle, stepped forwards, and said "Now stop that Florence, (nothing wrong with the name before anyone tries to hang me high by the Cebulla) stop running around that nice man!" :shrug: At which point Florence, who was right beside me, blew the most perfect raspberry at me and hit my sax! (I thought, she'll make a good trombonist!)(Sorry Tom)
Once the kids had been tied up, or nailed to the floor , or what ever the parents did to keep them occupied, things did improve. I managed to get into my stride and start concentrating on my playing and not on where the next barrage was coming from.
Oh, did I mention that all this was on a wonderful kidney infection
that I managed to develop on Wednesday. I've never felt so rough in my life, but like I said, the show must go on. 
Have we got a gleam from the tooth or a halo smiley anywhere?
))))
I've had this gig booked for quite a while, not a bad earner either. It was a wedding for a very pleasant young couple. They had a DJ who had agreed to let me plug in and go through his desk, but I took enough kit in the car just in case. That's always quite nice using someone elses stuff as it saves all that packing up afterwards. Luckily, the DJ was the brides cousin, so giving me a good sound was definitely in his interest.
I was booked to play for an hour and then play the happy couples first dance. I set up my things whilst the speeches were just finishing and managed to get away without dropping anything or making too much noise. Well seven o'clock came and it was my turn to play some background material to fill the void whilst the evening guests arrived. As I was just starting, it happened. All the lovely little children
, who had been forced to sit still in the church, then through the meal and then again through the speeches, and who were now full of sugar and e numbers, erupted like a tidal surge, a veritable tsunami and it was all coming in my direction :shocked:. I think at this stage, I would have felt less terrified facing fifteen All Blacks doing the Haka! Attila the Hun would have been a more welcome sight to behold, but no, this seathing mass was heading in my direction and not a parent in sight! Just at that moment the first notes to the intro of my first song echoed into my ears. I had to start, the how must go on!I put my professional head on and though to myself, "Come on Taz, you can do it!" and with that I put my mouthpiece between my lips and started to play. Whack! A child ran into me from behind. Thump! Another child ran into my side! Clonk! One actually ran into my sax, almost knocking my front teeth out! I had a quick look and no one was paying me much attention, so I shot a stare at one of the kids, it was a look that I had perfected on my own kids many years before. Apparently I still posses the power to scare little children with just a glance. Phew.
Eventually it got to a point that I actually had to stop my performance, walk up to the nearest guest and I asked if he could ask the parents of these little darlings to come and keep the little f.... ooo, nearly.. angels away from me as someone was going to get hurt and I knew damn well it wouldn't be me! Low and behold, the guy I spoke to, who was standing not ten feet from me, and had been watching the whole debacle, stepped forwards, and said "Now stop that Florence, (nothing wrong with the name before anyone tries to hang me high by the Cebulla) stop running around that nice man!" :shrug: At which point Florence, who was right beside me, blew the most perfect raspberry at me and hit my sax! (I thought, she'll make a good trombonist!)(Sorry Tom)
Once the kids had been tied up, or nailed to the floor , or what ever the parents did to keep them occupied, things did improve. I managed to get into my stride and start concentrating on my playing and not on where the next barrage was coming from.
Oh, did I mention that all this was on a wonderful kidney infection
that I managed to develop on Wednesday. I've never felt so rough in my life, but like I said, the show must go on. Have we got a gleam from the tooth or a halo smiley anywhere?
))))
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In your situation I would have definitely stopped playing 
Sorry I couldn't help myself 
