All profit supporting special needs music education and Help Musicians
SYOS

Worst gig ever!

Taz

Busking Oracle
Messages
3,661
Oh my god is all I can say. How glad am I that that is over!

I've had this gig booked for quite a while, not a bad earner either. It was a wedding for a very pleasant young couple. They had a DJ who had agreed to let me plug in and go through his desk, but I took enough kit in the car just in case. That's always quite nice using someone elses stuff as it saves all that packing up afterwards. Luckily, the DJ was the brides cousin, so giving me a good sound was definitely in his interest.

I was booked to play for an hour and then play the happy couples first dance. I set up my things whilst the speeches were just finishing and managed to get away without dropping anything or making too much noise. Well seven o'clock came and it was my turn to play some background material to fill the void whilst the evening guests arrived. As I was just starting, it happened. All the lovely little children >:), who had been forced to sit still in the church, then through the meal and then again through the speeches, and who were now full of sugar and e numbers, erupted like a tidal surge, a veritable tsunami and it was all coming in my direction :shocked:. I think at this stage, I would have felt less terrified facing fifteen All Blacks doing the Haka! Attila the Hun would have been a more welcome sight to behold, but no, this seathing mass was heading in my direction and not a parent in sight! Just at that moment the first notes to the intro of my first song echoed into my ears. I had to start, the how must go on!

I put my professional head on and though to myself, "Come on Taz, you can do it!" and with that I put my mouthpiece between my lips and started to play. Whack! A child ran into me from behind. Thump! Another child ran into my side! Clonk! One actually ran into my sax, almost knocking my front teeth out! I had a quick look and no one was paying me much attention, so I shot a stare at one of the kids, it was a look that I had perfected on my own kids many years before. Apparently I still posses the power to scare little children with just a glance. Phew.

Eventually it got to a point that I actually had to stop my performance, walk up to the nearest guest and I asked if he could ask the parents of these little darlings to come and keep the little f.... ooo, nearly.. angels away from me as someone was going to get hurt and I knew damn well it wouldn't be me! Low and behold, the guy I spoke to, who was standing not ten feet from me, and had been watching the whole debacle, stepped forwards, and said "Now stop that Florence, (nothing wrong with the name before anyone tries to hang me high by the Cebulla) stop running around that nice man!" :shrug: At which point Florence, who was right beside me, blew the most perfect raspberry at me and hit my sax! (I thought, she'll make a good trombonist!)(Sorry Tom)

Once the kids had been tied up, or nailed to the floor , or what ever the parents did to keep them occupied, things did improve. I managed to get into my stride and start concentrating on my playing and not on where the next barrage was coming from.

Oh, did I mention that all this was on a wonderful kidney infection :verysad that I managed to develop on Wednesday. I've never felt so rough in my life, but like I said, the show must go on. :mrcool

Have we got a gleam from the tooth or a halo smiley anywhere?:))):)))
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Targa

Among the pigeons
Subscriber
Messages
8,891
The best advice I've ever seen is printed on every medication from the chemist.

Keep out of the reach and sight of children.
 

aldevis

Surrealist Contributor.
Cafe Moderator
Messages
12,125
Keep out of the reach and sight of children.
Unless the child REALLY wants to learn.
I really like the style of your post. I wish someday I will be brave enough to describe MY worst gig experience, involving a lingerie catwalk, some stunning models and a toilet with a faulty lock.
 

Taz

Busking Oracle
Messages
3,661
Unless the child REALLY wants to learn.
I really like the style of your post. I wish someday I will be brave enough to describe MY worst gig experience, involving a lingerie catwalk, some stunning models and a toilet with a faulty lock.
:w00t::))):))):))):))) you can't leave us in the lurch now!!!! Tell, tell all now, it's the law!
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,947
Good one Taz. Well done, at least you didn't cave in.


Come on Al, tell all.. No teasing now.
 

Tenor Viol

Full of frets in North Shropshire
Subscriber
Messages
5,944
Here are some well-deserved options:



If there's one thing worse than inconsiderate people it inconsiderate people with children.

Kidney infection - not fun hope it clears up soon.
 

Fraser Jarvis

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,910
Wait till you do the Musician in November....kids running in to you that have been on the "juice" will be the least of your problems!

BTW, Did you hang around for the money or did you scuttle of as fast as you could when you finished?
 

Taz

Busking Oracle
Messages
3,661
Fraser, I was quite impressed, I'd quoted it so that it was a good earner and they gave me a bonus on top! I did wonder if someone had seen what was going on an took pity on me!

TV, thanks for those, I think the first would have been most appropriate, and regards the kidneys they're on the mend nicely thanks.

Kev, one thing I've learnt, especialy from other peoples experiences, is that someone has always gone through worse :))) we haven't forgotten your tale of woe yet!
 

ArtyLady

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,030
I'v been knocked into several times while playing (usually by drunk adults!) and it's not nice - each time the sax has been physically knocked from my mouth - luckily not been embedded down my throat...so now if I see a potential for it to happen I always stop playing until they've moved away - I won't risk my teeth or throat or sax! :shocked: Paid gig or not I won't risk my own safety :thumb: In your situation I would have definitely stopped playing >:)
 

aldevis

Surrealist Contributor.
Cafe Moderator
Messages
12,125
I'v been knocked into several times while playing (usually by drunk adults!) and it's not nice - each time the sax has been physically knocked from my mouth - luckily not been embedded down my throat...so now if I see a potential for it to happen I always stop playing until they've moved away - I won't risk my teeth or throat or sax! :shocked: Paid gig or not I won't risk my own safety :thumb: In your situation I would have definitely stopped playing >:)
I agree. And I have a set of instruments for venues where there is the possibility of domino effect on your flute/clari/soprano.
As for my tale... there are ladies on this forum.
 

aldevis

Surrealist Contributor.
Cafe Moderator
Messages
12,125
True but we have probably heard worse>:)
But I am not sure ladies can really understand what goes through the mind of a saxophone player in his 20s (I was in my 20s once) surrounded by 20 models wearing the next lingerie collection. At 9am.
 

Taz

Busking Oracle
Messages
3,661
But I am not sure ladies can really understand what goes through the mind of a saxophone player in his 20s (I was in my 20s once) surrounded by 20 models wearing the next lingerie collection. At 9am.
Now I understand your Avatar :))):))):))):))):))):blush: Sorry I couldn't help myself :))):)))
 

Jeanette

Organizress
Cafe Moderator
Messages
25,898
But I am not sure ladies can really understand what goes through the mind of a saxophone player in his 20s (I was in my 20s once) surrounded by 20 models wearing the next lingerie collection. At 9am.

Say no more, I think we get the picture;}

Jx
 

Merryfisher

Member
Messages
265
the worst ones end up the fondest memories! reminds me of a gig back in the late 80s with a ska band - place full of East Midlands finest - trumpet & trombone were never great mates - half way through One Step Beyond, trumpet punched trombone flattening both he and me across the drumkit. Punters thought it part of the show! Happy days & fond memories. You do need to watch those trumpet players though, I'm sure they are all a bit flakey.
 

Andrew Sanders

Northern Commissioner for Caslm
Messages
2,773
Well done Taz, it's always better to carry on regardless. Worst gig I had was at a working mens' club and the PA was turned off mid song as it was "time for't bingo". Yes it was in Lancashire.
 

breathless

Member
Messages
270
Taz, I've started writing now I`ve finished laughing!

Taz you`ve become my new hero, what a trooper!

dont ya just love kids!! bless there hearts!

Lee.
 
Saxholder Pro

Staff online

Help!Mailing List
Top Bottom