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Winner winner winner.

navarro

Senior Member
Messages
863
WINNER, WINNER, WINNER,

Ladies and Gentleman of the forum it gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of the Christmas Story Competition.

First of all I would like to thank the entrants for allotting the time and energy and indeed there creative skills in producing a collection of prose, poetry and the daring Haiku which left myself and the backroom staff consuming endless cups of coffee (Instant for them and a rather fine blend of Bluekoff single origin Thia Espresso for me.) into the small hours.

Eventually my lady on the Sholes and Giddon Vintage (Non Qwerty.) was dispatched to the with-drawing room to tap out the illustrious victors name, which is ‘-----------------’ however I think a few more credits are in order.

Gorrillas We Are Not and Ass. (Security.)

Lottie Smedley (Stenographer and second place rosette Victoria Sponge Competion W.I 2003.

Some guy who hangs out in the garden and keeps bringing in baskets of potatoes, muttering “ Jus’ chitted me furst earlies Sur.” (I must ask someone his real name. (I give him a “Thank you Spud.” every time.)

My fellow judge who wishes to remain anonymous for reasons best known to himself whom I will refer to as `Arry` Special plaudit Arry I know that interminable electronic bangle affixed to your left ankle causes you considerable discomfort.

And last but not least our Moderator Mr. KevGermany for his matching donation and help in managing the thread.

Thanks also to Pete Thomas for creating the cafe and making it possible to run this competition.

Oh how I wish I could have summoned the three competitors into my rather tastefully decorated and Laura Ashley curtained study and stood them on the un-carpeted section of the floor, reserved for my tailor when he requests his unpaid account.

Watching them fidget nervously as I fix my stern piercing stare upon them for the required five seconds. (Copywright Master Chef.) And murmur “You were all highly skilled at this particular academic exercise, however there can only be one winner and he is -------------” (Sadly no lady entrants, no doubt due to preparing for the festive seasons activities. (My sympathy girls, if I may be so bold as to use such an intimate phrase. I know how difficult it is trying to transcribe Cooky’s Christmas menu’s scribbled suggestions into a legible form.) My dear lady of the ladle inadvertently scrawls ‘Raspery pullover fer yer arfters?’ when of course she means ‘Pavlova.’ (Aide memoire: Cookies Christmas present. Nice plastic keyring with Wills and Katie emblazoned thereon.) Best wishes Kat’s with the `third in liner.’ Gonna be tough if you drop a brace.

A further theatrical pause and then “ The winner of The Christmas Story Competition 2012 is ‘Further dramatic pause’ Then with a determined poke of the index finger my Grundig TK 14 is activated and my pre-taped `The Winner Takes It All ` blares forth. :welldone TAZ TAZ TAZ :welldone And with a rather contrived compassionate smile, I nod towards the dispirited but still determined to go on to better things, Kingsleyhik and MLoosemore, signalling them to exit the study and dolefully head for the tradesman's entrance. (I did notice they both glanced at the buffet table as they left. but I am pretty sure most garages or railway stations offer a catering facility.)
Taz and myself then celebrated his victory with a glass of Cava (Second case half price from Asda.) and a buffet of tinned pink salmon, sandwiches. (Crusts trimmed. Quite a treat Eh Taz.


The first prize donation £20.00 is winging it`s way to Pete`s charity. And I am reliably informed by my moles in PayPal and various other credit card organizations that Kev`s £20.00 is already there. Thanks again Kev.:thumb:




It just remains for me to wish all forum members a very Happy Christmas and Prosperous New Year, then gather up what is left of the crustless delights for deepfreeze storage, in preparation for the eagerly anticipated staff Christmas Beano which I hold in late January. (They, the staff are rather busy over Yuletide. )

Regards, Santa Claus suit at the ready. N.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Chris98

Senior Member
Messages
1,093
Congratulations to Taz for winning and heart felt commiserations to Kingsleyhk and MLoosemore. The raw brass, silver plate and gold lacquered medallions are currently being hand annealed, for sonic superiority, and will be with you at some point.

Best wishes,

Chris
 

Jeanette

Organizress
Cafe Moderator
Messages
25,898
Well done to all who took part, also to Navarro for the idea and his generous donation

Thanks to kev too for his donation.

In the spirit of Christmas I will make a donation too.

Jx
 

Taz

Busking Oracle
Messages
3,661
Yay I won!!! First of all I'd like to thank everyone who took part, and everyone who read my drivel, and everyone else who is a member of this fantastic forum, and to Navarro for this great idea, and to my Mum what taught me to rite :w00t: and of course to that nice Mr Thomas for having me (not in the parental sense, but in a hosting type way!)
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,947
Congrats Taz.

Nb. I had nothing to do with the decision. N, despite the blatent attempt to influence the voting by Taz, allowed his entry to run.... I'll expect my free reeds in the post, thanks >:)
 

navarro

Senior Member
Messages
863
http://cafesaxophone.com/showthread.php?8716-Christmas-story-submissions-only&p=93840#post93840

Hopefully next year I will master your approximate language and will try to enter a submission myself.
Will Taz's picture appear on page three of some well known literary tabloid, as a direct consequence of his flamboyant victory?
Good thinking Al perhaps the National Enquirer might be interested. Navarro thinks to himself has Taz some dark secret which would appeal to our readers, or perhaps he used some stimulant in his quest to gain literary fame.forbidden under the rules. What a headline ` Taz stripped of his title as traces of Cadbury`s drinking chocolate found in a routine dope test.`

Al reference your hoped for entry next year classical Latin is perfectly acceptable as long as it does not contain the catch phrase `Why did Nero fiddle while Rome burned.? Answer : Because he thought his tax returns were going to be Caesared. (Just another one from the Failed Standups joke book.) regards N.
 

Jazzaferri

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,663
Taz ole boy, how'd ya really do it....I mean to say how didja pull it off

congrats an all
 

Taz

Busking Oracle
Messages
3,661
I put it all down to my sparkly personality and not to forget the crafty back hander, so crafty, in fact, that it sliped past the CasLm radar, and trust me, OG can smell a £5 at 50 miles! :w00t:
 

MLoosemore

Deluded Senior Member...
Messages
759
I put it all down to my sparkly personality and not to forget the crafty back hander, so crafty, in fact, that it sliped past the CasLm radar, and trust me, OG can smell a £5 at 50 miles! :w00t:
I really should gain more experience in the ancient art of Sliping. Then perhaps next year I can enter again on a more level playing field.... No hang on I haven't been on a playing field, level or otherwise for over half a century.

In the spirit of Christmasses past, present and future - Congratulations Mr Taz on your extraordinarily accomplished entry.
 

Pauline

Senior Member
Subscriber
Messages
467
A very enjoyable read. Thanks to Navarro for thinking of it and to all those who entered.:welldone
Great story Taz!
In appreciation, I too have made a donation.

best wishes everyone,
Pauline
 

navarro

Senior Member
Messages
863
A very enjoyable read. Thanks to Navarro for thinking of it and to all those who entered.:welldone
Great story Taz!
In appreciation, I too have made a donation.

best wishes everyone,
Pauline
Thanks Pauline, Pay attention to the New Years Honours list who knows, perhaps we have an M.O.B.E (Moll of the British Empire.) in the making. :thumb: Best Regards, Waiting for the sword slap on the shoulder. N.
Pauline[/QUOTE]
 

navarro

Senior Member
Messages
863
I put it all down to my sparkly personality and not to forget the crafty back hander, so crafty, in fact, that it sliped past the CasLm radar, and trust me, OG can smell a £5 at 50 miles! :w00t:
Not to be seen by other forum members scripted in potato juice. ` Thanks Taz that Monopoly fiver you sent me will go a long way in funding the below stairs staff`s annual Christmas Beano. Regards, Go straight to Jail. N.>:)
 
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