It's funny how listening at a later date, to a track you were disappointed with at the time, can reveal what you actually caught. Once you've forgotten or moved away from a specific interpretation I find it surprising what I actually played sometimes, unless there's any glaring mistakes which I usually erase straight away. I often find that the player in my fingers is better than the player in my head and any little wanderings from the script that are caught and remedied can add something to a piece.
Be your own harshest critic , yes, but be a constructive critic and don't beat yourself up.
What came out, came out. If we measure ourselves against perfection we will always fall short.
The brain does strange things visually and aurally to inputs, so what's heard by the listener isn't necessarily what's heard by the player and sometimes little imperfections can make a piece.
That's very true Colin...When I discovered a few things I did in the past I listened to it differently.
Something I may have disliked, I thought was okay later on.
Personally I'd love to have what's in my head communicate correctly with my fingers, which is why I loved composition,
because I could relate very much what was in my head onto paper. Improvisation in it's spontaneity requires knowledge
of the instrument we're using to convey the same thing. Composition does not require this.
That's always the problem. Intuitively, I know what should be played, but technically I'm highly deficient
mechanically, which is why I/we practice. We practice in order to create a smooth transition from cerebral to physical.
I always have this dream where I'm pretending to finger a saxophone but I'm riffing vocally. I have this dream all the time and I love what comes out.
I'm a critic of my playing but within reason. It's never life and death. When we have a hobby and something goes not so well, we shouldn't labor over it, because well, hobby's should be relaxing
and have a redeeming value. That's how I treat the saxophone when I'm playing it.