Strange or Silly Things Said by the Audience

[rhysonsax]

I'm constantly surprised by the weird things people often say when they come up and speak to band members during or after a gig.

On Sunday our big band was performing with a singer for an outdoor gig in the park. We were lucky with the weather and there were about 400 people listening. About 50 or so of them decided to sit on the grass behind where we had set up and so were looking at our backs and the rear of the PA speakers and guitar and keyboard amps. Apparently one of the audience members came up to our sound man and asked him to do something about the sound, as they couldn't hear very clearly from behind the band !

Any other strange or amusing requests that you have had ?

Rhys

 

[Jules]

The best heckle I’ve ever been on the receiving end of was with Swamp Things- my old rockabilly and blues street band. In mid Fulsom Prison Blues we were berated by a respectable middle aged lady demanding- “Why don’t you play English Music?” in a decidedly indignant manner. An interesting comment which pretty much stopped us in our tracks as we contemplated exactly why and what an appropriate response was….

 

[Taz]

When I was playing with my last band, a dedicated bunch of Rock 'n' Rollers, we were asked if we did requests. Yes was our reply. Kashmir by Led Zepplin was the request!

 

[Koen88]

one of my favourite to say (in a joking manner) is: when the band asks if there are any requests reply; the last song! ;}

And in my first coverband where we recently had a gig with after a 9 month hibernation(?) for a benefit concert for africa. So we rehearsed only a few times. and one guy (really big strong bold and muscular) shouted for this one song from the first set on. So after the second set when we were playing our requests/encores we looked at each other and decided to give it a go (we hadnt played it in 9 months) but a few beers made us confident. And we pulled it off, and the guy (and everyone else )liked it. And we were invited back for an other (payed) bigger gig.

http://youtu.be/gbAw3jzBwUI (not actual gig but same song/band)

 

[kevgermany]

Sounds like you were having a lot of fun!

 

[Jules]

"'ere- lets have a go on yer saxophone".. says drunken punter making a reach for it..... hm.....

 

[old git]

One of the good things in the folk world is the number of times you are invited to join in a jam. Similar things happen amongst Border sides in the Morris world where you find yourself invited to play with other sides at festivals.

Whilst emoting on a slow blues on the tenor was told "Ypu're really great, man." Sarcasm can be really depressing.

 

[zebrafoot]

I play bass in a folk band and we used to get -

"Play something we know!", followed by "Play something you know!".

 

[Andrew Sanders]

My wife's standard " Can you play "Far, far away?". How much does a divorce cost please?

 

[Taz]

My wife's standard " Can you play "Far, far away?". How much does a divorce cost please?

That's similar to "Do it solo, solo we cant hear you!

 

[Tenor Viol]

You get it in all generes.

My chamber choir performed Bernstein's Chichester Psalms. Difficult work with lots of jazzy Bernstein stuff, complex rhythms and time signatures (5/4 7/4 10/4 and 11/4 all appear as time signatures and many others besides) - think West Side Story. The rythms are really tricky and the words are in Hebrew. Elderly clerical gentlemen at end of concert: "I enjoyed that. I was trying to follow the Hebrew in my Hebrew Psalter, but some of the pronunciation seemed a bit off..." You can't win!

 

[kevgermany]

The rythms are really tricky and the words are in Hebrew. Elderly clerical gentlemen at end of concert: "I enjoyed that. I was trying to follow the Hebrew in my Hebrew Psalter, but some of the pronunciation seemed a bit off..." You can't win!

That's the problem - you started at the wrong end. 🙂

 

[noelweston]

A big band I played with a while back had a storming arrangement of one o'clock jump - open jazz solos at the start with a band shout of the tune at the end. The band was also filled with very good players from Leeds College at the time.

During one performance, the bandleader started the tune off and walked to the back of the hall to check the sound balance. At the bar, he heard one audience member mutter disparagingly...

"You know they're just making this up!"

At the end of the tune, there was a rousing round of indifference from the punters. Said bandleader, slightly miffed, took the mic and announced "thank you ladies and gentlemen, and now back to the cr*p"

 

[Jules]

“Ladies and gents- we were recently experimented on by the psychology department at our local university. We played- they provided a variety of audience reactions. Interestingly, we play better when presented with a positive audience reaction- clapping, dancing and the like. You know what this all means? If we’re crap, its your fault!”.. said by the lead singer of The Bonnevilles at a recent gig I played with them….

 

[jbtsax]

The leader of our quartet who played piano would often get requests for songs from the patrons. If we didn't know a particular song he would say, "We don't know that song, but we can play one with a lot of the same notes in it". The guest would always say, "ok" and walk away satisfied.

On another occasion when the band was leaving the stage a very inebriated woman walked up, pointed to my saxophone on its stand, and being too drunk to remember the word said to me, "Can I blow on your thing?" I replied, "lady, that's the best offer I have had all evening" at which time her embarrassed husband wisked her away from the bandstand.

 

[Jules]

From a gig I was at last night....
Band- "Any requests?"
Audience Heckle- "Yes- explain what the hell a Higgs boson particle is!"

And another old favourite...
One of my old blues bands

Band- "Any requests"
Audience Heckle- "Tales from a Topographic Ocean by Yes- all four sides!"

 

[aldevis]

I play bass in a folk band and we used to get -

"Play something we know!", followed by "Play something you know!".

Great one: I will re-sell it


I sometimes play with an experimental blues band. It is really experimental: about 12 bars tunes and we proudly never play the same thing twice. The singer is an incredible improviser about lyrics.
The usual f&b manager (the slimy kind of guy that bullies employees and cannot stand musicians hired by someone else) asked us to play something everybody knows.

I should have done what the great Tony Coe suggests and play the national anthem, but I haven't been brave enough.

 

[aldevis]

On another occasion when the band was leaving the stage a very inebriated woman walked up, pointed to my saxophone on its stand, and being too drunk to remember the word said to me, "Can I blow on your thing?" I replied, "lady, that's the best offer I have had all evening" at which time her embarrassed husband wisked her away from the bandstand.

I had a similar experience once but I blushed and couldn't reply.
This reminds me of an old joke about the lounge pianist approached by a punter:
"Do you know that blonde sitting alone on the third table on the left?"
"No, but if you sing it, I'll follow"

 

[Colin the Bear]

Had an old guy in a flat cap and suit approach us at the interval in a working mens club, and ask for "that's what you are". We were still mystified when he said it was a Nat king Cole number. All was revealed when he started to sing. Unforgettable.....That's what you are"