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Wade Cornell

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I don't think it's a matter of "working out parts" as much as having a melody, or vocals that tell a story and give some direction. There's not much to this simple repeating phrase so you've got to make it into something. You're playing good lines that fit within the chords, but these aren't exactly a melodic line, just more background when what's needed is a focus and foreground.
 

Moz

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855
I like it, but then I like ska. It had possibilities but as Wade says, definitely needs something else.
 

Fraser Jarvis

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1,910
I don't think it's a matter of "working out parts" as much as having a melody, or vocals that tell a story and give some direction. There's not much to this simple repeating phrase so you've got to make it into something. You're playing good lines that fit within the chords, but these aren't exactly a melodic line, just more background when what's needed is a focus and foreground.
Thanks for that Wade, and i know exactly were your coming from on this, i didn't really get chance to work out the melody line on this so resorted to just rambling along in the background just to get a feel for it, and i agree it is just a simple repeating phrase without any structure what so ever and needed breaking down into maybe three lots of verse/chorus with an intro and an ending, something in the middle, middle 8? but the guy who wrote it decided to bin it after the first take so that was the end of that!
 
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