It's not really about trusting one or the other - it's more about learning how to relate what you hear while you are playing to what the audience hears, and adjusting accordingly. Singers in particular face this all the time, as the 'head voice' is very different to the voice everyone else hears (just record yourself talking or singing to see what I mean - for most people it's a shock the first time they hear it).
The 'feel' of a note will affect how you hear it - if a note felt stuffy to play, it actually affects the way you perceive the sound of that note. This makes differences in tone feel far greater to you as a player than they sound to the audience.
In short, use both - the recordings and how it feels while you play. Don't forget to use other people's ears as well . Other tricks include playing into a wall or corner of a room or into a music stand so you get more of your reflected sound back to your ears, to get a better idea of what other people hear when you play.
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