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Herts Biggish

SLoB

Member
Messages
102
Location
Bishop's Stortford
Not one to be outdone by those living 'sarf' of the great divide it is perhaps a duty for those of us from the shires to consider our allegiancies.

To this end those who live in, work in, or used to live in (or merely passed through once) Aside - I was once told that Herts has the most number of motorways passing through it :shocked: are duly invited to become a member of the 'Herts Biggish'. :)

It is only right and proper that Mr Thomas :mrcool be appointed patron (even though he is in the wrong part of the country).

Executive officers need be appointed only as and when necessary (read: probably never!). Although as BobbyG came up with the name I nominate him for Chair. :welldone

In keeping with my User Name I intend to do as little as possible.

As those of us this side of the great divide are not yet senile (yet being the operative word!) we are not in need of a zimmer keeper or transporter (unlike those from that other place that shall not be named).

Full members may use the letters 'HB' after their sign-off. If membership overwhelms us (I actually expect to be totally underwhelmed) we could enlarge our geographical influence to become the 'Middle England Largish' (MEL) and of course those from the eastern parts may wish to join in which case we become Middle England & Anglia Larger (MEAL).

We need to watch numbers and guard the borders because we don't want to become a Massive. :w00t:

We will of course show hospitality and a great welcome to all who enter the lands of the HB, MEL or MEAL. We will give assistance and advice (whether it was asked for or not ;} ) to all and sundry.

Our motto in honour of the great Charlie Parker could be: "Just Play"

To celebrate this great happening I have had a glass or two of plonk (as you can probably tell!!).

All this thinking and writing has done me in - I need a lie down.

SLoB HB, MEL, MEAL
 

Young Col

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,421
Location
Coulsdon, London/Surrey
Well big up to the Biggish then! There will be no problem with the Croydon &etc so long as you don't come to the South side and try to sell dodgy saxes in Surrey Street market (BTW rumours that OG sells gold painted bits of Zimmer as sax necks down there are largely ill founded).

Equally I made a peaceful foray into Anglia today to have lunch with old work friends, between Colchester and Halstead. Quick trip down the A120 for my old mate who lives near you SLoB, but 160 mile round trip for me and a another mate, but a good day out all the same!
YC
 

Bobby G

Senior Member
Messages
4,989
Location
Wonderful Welwyn Garden City, Herts
Seconded!

I spent most of today, engineering-wise, in Buckinghamshire around Aylesbury, the Missendens, Wendover, Princes Risborough etc. Would members from this area be considered MEL or MEAL, or should there be a separate Chilterns smallish? I think their motto should be "nice 'ere, innit".
 

old git

Tremendous Bore
Well big up to the Biggish then! There will be no problem with the Croydon &etc so long as you don't come to the South side and try to sell dodgy saxes in Surrey Street market (BTW rumours that OG sells gold painted bits of Zimmer as sax necks down there are largely ill founded).
YC
Col,
Georgio, my machinist, carefully picked as he doesn't really understand English, got his bird to read your post and now has trebled his price for machining saxophone necks, completely eliminating our profit margin. As CaSLM is likely to be declared bankrupt unless you can up the profits from the Coulsdon numbers racket, we might offer to merge with Bob's MEL. He works on Automatic Cash Machines and being a nice guy, will never suspect any ulterior motive.
 

Lloyd

Member
Messages
208
Location
Hertfordshire
Executive officers need be appointed only as and when necessary (read: probably never!). Although as BobbyG came up with the name I nominate him for Chair. :welldone
Not sure how BobbyG fances being an item of furniture. I think it is a duty of all breakaway groups to fight against the tide of political correctness, so I nominate BobbyG as Chairman (assuming, of course he is a man, otherwise Chairwoman).
 
OP
S

SLoB

Member
Messages
102
Location
Bishop's Stortford
I go for a lie down and look what happens.

Already mergers are mentioned - and with that lot down sarf! :w00t:

Membership - to avoid the need to do anything we allow self-appointment.

Honorary - yes, why not. Just add Hon to the HB

A moll - now that sounds good but my vote would be for the gorgeous Miss Dulfer.



I now need another lie down!!!

SLoB
 

Gungehead

New Member
Messages
19
Location
High Cross, Herts
Membership - to avoid the need to do anything we allow self-appointment.


A moll - now that sounds good but my vote would be for the gorgeous Miss Dulfer.





SLoB

I will appoint myself as a member then and I would like to second SloB's proposal of Miss Dulfer as moll.
How do I change my signature, I need to add HB!
 

Chris98

Senior Member
Messages
1,076
Extending the hand of friendship...

Dear members of the Breakfast Room Forum,

I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fun here but I feel now is the time to come out from under the curtain.

Since the recent rise of the Croydon and Sarf Lundun Massive (CaSLM) it has become clear to my associates and I that infiltration and surveillance of this group was of utmost importance if the status quo is to be maintained. This turned out to be a relatively easy matter due to certain members habit of regular naps, although our youthful faction did have trouble with the early mornings! We have managed to plant an impressive number of bugs in various ‘Bling’ and hard rubber products that were acquired by the CaSLM and are also ready with a consignment of pre warped squeak easy reeds that can be disseminated quickly to provide maximum confusion and frustration. Our initial intelligence reported that the ‘leader’ played a tenor but alas were not informed of his preference for baritone reeds which set our plans back a week.

The squeak easy gang would like to extend the hand of friendship and protection to the Herts Biggish and would strongly advise against the merger with the CaSLM, you’ll appreciate that protection of this kind unfortunately comes at a modest cost.

For your information, our ‘organisation’ is not bound by any geographical location, we have been in existence throughout the ages in one form or other and have our highly skilled operatives are everywhere.

Best regards,

Chris

Representing the interests of the Squeak Easy Gang
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,982
Location
Just north of Munich
For the massives pondering Chris' & SEG's thinly disguised threats, I shoud warnt he Germany has some extermely effective and currently available persons who'd offer good protection. I refer, of course, to the now unemployed ex members of the Stasi, East Germany's equivalent of the KGB.

Many of them are music lovers (in the Ken Russel sense) and have found that their violent tendancies can be kept under control by a reasonable supply of Graslice made axes (aka B&W Saxophones). These axes are built strongly and are capable of withstanding the crazed urges of these unfortunate misfits.

So for the cost of a few knackered B&Ws, (and a pristine Silver Julius Keilwerth Tone King for their boss) I can offer, without threat or intimidation, a very high level of protection against the spivs mentioned by Chris.

Needless to say, should reinforcements be needed, they have many contacts within the old communist bloc secret police forces, and I'm sure that some arrangemtns could be made, possibly for the price of a Gold plated Conn or two. Given the proximity of the Amati factory to the old Semtex (abb. Se...x) factory, I'm sure that some of this undetectable substance could be made available for the price of a Pristine Mauriat for copying, thus making a Se...x attack on the CaSLM HQ & Moll possible.
 

Pauline

Senior Member
Subscriber
Messages
467
Location
Hull, UK City of Culture 2017
Given the proximity of the Amati factory to the old Semtex (abb. Se...x) factory, I'm sure that some of this undetectable substance could be made available for the price of a Pristine Mauriat for copying, thus making a Se...x attack on the CaSLM HQ & Moll possible.
Ha ha! well I'm not scared! I've got my two trusty guard dogs for protection!
 

Attachments

Chris98

Senior Member
Messages
1,076
They look pretty fearsome Pauline. And if anyone wants to raid OG Towers, they have to get across the moat first which will be stocked with my man eating Koi.
Dear Young Col,

That maybe so, but the duck island you got on expenses, that came from our E# Department! You may have noticed the ducks have retreated that's because the G## Koi eating Heron squadron is about to descend upon your moat, well they would do if we could get the timing right, seems that they can all start at the same time but staying together and finishing at the same time is a little hit and miss!

Pauline, the higher management of the Squeak Easy Gang has a preference for cats but in light of the picture has uprated your perceived threat level to a minor 7th, previously you were a perfect 5th!

Best regards,

Chris

Representing the interests of the Squeak Easy Gang

Employment opportunity: We are currently looking for soprano and sopranino players that have mastered the altisimo range and enjoy dangerous covert operations
 
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old git

Tremendous Bore
Bah! Humbug!
You squeaks failed to discover that all CaSLM members use Carbon Composite Reeds with guidance aerodynamics. The wounds inflicted by these reed missiles are indeed horrific, in fact there is almost a feeling of guilt regarding their use.
Pah to your Heron squadron. Nice snack for our man eating Painted Ladies and when we get the Red Admirals trained up.........oh hang on, do the STASI run them?


postscriptum:pauline, you have fitted them with the venom injecting incisors we sent you, haven't you?
 
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