The band teacher I student taught with had a small dance combo he played trumpet in on weekends. He also had a keen sense of humor. He often talked about how bad the bass player in the group played. He came in one Monday and said he played a gig over the weekend but the bass player didn't show up. I asked, "What did you do". He said "We just kicked the piano on every beat, and no one could tell the difference".
A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, So, what did you learn?
Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string.
Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, this time I learned the first five notes on the A string.
One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks, hey, what happened in today's lesson?
Dad, I'm sorry but I couldn't make it to my lesson. I had a gig!