As you know I really liked the first take and I like this one as well. It's a great sax player's piece and EH was the man. Took some Cajones to twist the head, but it works. Great improvisations all the way through with exquisite use of altissimo with tone and control. As much as I liked the end on the first take, this one went on too long for my taste. As a separate piece/exercise it would have stood alone well, but after a minute stopped relating to the original. Worked best when it was less conscious (if that makes sense?).
What always make your playing work for me is your sense of timing, conviction (with every note played with intent and intensity), and of course that wonderful tone. All the elements for sound are there. That leaves the element of composition, which you've mostly mastered, but could probably quickly improve by being more critical of your own work (IMHO).