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Dumb Sax Advert Titles & Descriptions -- Post them here when you find them.

Jazz Is All

Jazz Is All

Well-Known Member
Messages
853
Location
Barcelona, Spain
I have been looking at eBay and other sales sites like Piclic, Reverb etc way too much lately. However I find it entertaining and educational for what I learn about not just saxes and their varied history but also about people's ideas of how advertise their saxes. This can run from the pathetic to the tragic to the uproariously funny or just plain stupid.

Here is one I just found to start things off. Please feel free to post your own finds as you come upon them. Remember, this is not to share wonderful opportunities to buy but rather wonderful opportunities to laugh.

King Zephyr Alto Saxophone PREOWNED

YA THINK?. I MEAN IT'S ONLY AN 85-YEAR-OLD SAX SO WE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ORIGINAL OWNER.

Okay, now look at the photos and tell me if his closing line perfect for a collector doesn't beg the question "Of What?"


!King Zephyr Alto Saxophone PREOWNED | eBay
 
I’ll have to dig in my treasure trove of weird listings, there’s too many just to slap them on here lol! But I did find a horn I find to be pretty cool. It seems to be a closet condition Wetklang saxophone. It’s 700 and that’s a lot for me, especial me buying saxophone repair tools just today. But if it was 350 or lower I’d buy it in a heartbeat. I love the old German and Russian horns. Especially considering I have family in Germany! But check it out, it might be gone in a few days, maybe from me or someone else (;

www.ebay.com

Old, beautiful Tenor Saxophone "Weltklang Solist" Tenorsaxophone slightly used | eBay

Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Old, beautiful Tenor Saxophone "Weltklang Solist" Tenorsaxophone slightly used at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many products!
www.ebay.com
 
Elliot G. said:
www.ebay.com

Jean Baptiste JB-480T Tenor Saxophone MINT CONDITION! GREEN! beautiful case! | eBay

Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Jean Baptiste JB-480T Tenor Saxophone MINT CONDITION! GREEN! beautiful case! at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many products!
www.ebay.com
A saxophone I could see shrek playing. Needless to say the colors are.. unique..
Click to expand...
MINT CONDITION! GREEN! beautiful case!

Well Duh, mint is usually in a green condition.

We really want the beautiful case because it can't be uglier than that sax.....wait....maybe it can be.

OMG is that horn repulsive or what? You can probably only play it on St. Paddy's Day and have people pay you to let them puke green beer into the bell.
 
Elliot G. said:
A lovely vito saxophone.
www.ebay.com

Beautiful Vintage Vito Saxophone | eBay

Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Beautiful Vintage Vito Saxophone at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many products!
www.ebay.com
Click to expand...
You win the prize already and we just got started. WXF is that?? It looks like rubber carpet undelayment if I'm not mistaken but what the hell has it got to do with a Vito sax? And just the one photo. Is the seller an alien from outer space showing us the surface of his home planet? I can't stop laughing because that has to be the dumbest ad on eBay ever.
 
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Jazz Is All said:
MINT CONDITION! GREEN! beautiful case!

Well Duh, mint is usually in a green condition.

We really want the beautiful case because it can't be uglier than that sax.....wait....maybe it can be.

OMG is that horn repulsive or what? You can probably only play it on St. Paddy's Day and have people pay you to let them puke green beer into the bell.
Click to expand...
Not only that but if you look at the octave key and the hole, it’s got a wrap around it! Either indicating this person has no idea what they’re doing or the octave key has a problem, so they did an at home solution. This horn would honestly look better without the nasty gold keys too. Just a train wreck. I wonder who looks at horns like this and goes “Wow! What an amazing horn! Let’s buy it!”
 
Jazz Is All said:
You win the prize already and we just got started. *** is that?? It looks like rubber carpet undelayment if I'm not mistaken but what the hell has it got to do with a Vito sax? And just the one photo. Is the seller an alien from outer space showing us the surface of his home planet? I can't stop laughing because that has to be the dumbest ad on eBay ever.
Click to expand...
I have a few more lying around I just have to search for them deeply.
www.ebay.com

Vintage Buescher Aristocrat 156 TrueTone Tenor Saxophone Ser#333640 for Overhaul | eBay

Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Vintage Buescher Aristocrat 156 TrueTone Tenor Saxophone Ser#333640 for Overhaul at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many products!
www.ebay.com
Only reason I put this horn in is because... Looks like someone took it on A Carnival Cruise and dropped it in the water at some point. I don’t know if you could revive a sax like this, I would put it a fish tank for decoration...
 
Not even a saxophone but this is quiet.. amazing.
reverb.com

sai musicals Sousaphone P-001S, Bb Green Lacquer so-12 2020 blue | Reverb

SAI MUSICAL sousaphones are ideal for beginner to professional level or student musicians. This sousaphone features a phosphorus copper lead mouth pipe, with 3 smooth action valves. Every sousaphone is play tested at our factory and re-tested by a professional to ensure that their high-qualit...
reverb.com reverb.com
 
Jazz Is All said:
You win the prize already and we just got started. *** is that?? It looks like rubber carpet undelayment if I'm not mistaken but what the hell has it got to do with a Vito sax? And just the one photo. Is the seller an alien from outer space showing us the surface of his home planet? I can't stop laughing because that has to be the dumbest ad on eBay ever.
Click to expand...
No, no, I see it, it's under that leaf.
 
Elliot G. said:
Not even a saxophone but this is quiet.. amazing.
reverb.com

sai musicals Sousaphone P-001S, Bb Green Lacquer so-12 2020 blue | Reverb

SAI MUSICAL sousaphones are ideal for beginner to professional level or student musicians. This sousaphone features a phosphorus copper lead mouth pipe, with 3 smooth action valves. Every sousaphone is play tested at our factory and re-tested by a professional to ensure that their high-qualit...
reverb.com reverb.com
Click to expand...
I'll say!!! Wow, if that were just a photo without a description of what it is I would guess it was one of these, and not an instrument at all.

C58-1972.jpg


This is a Favrilé Vase created by Louis Tiffany in 1895.

Favrile' was Tiffany & Co's art-glass range. Its name probably comes from 'fabrile', the 'old English' word for 'handmade', indicating that the range was made by skilled glass workers. The historic technique used for this piece involved incorporating coloured canes into the body of the glass and working the glass while it is still hot and malleable.

I have to hand it to the designer and creator of that Isitsoupyetaphone for artistic taste and imagination since that is quite something to look at. If you marched around playing it they'd think the Star Wars Cantina Band was in town. I mean the dude got it correct right down to the correct shade of green.

Rogue_One_1_Star_Wars_40th.jpg
 
Jazz Is All said:
You win the prize already and we just got started. WXF is that?? It looks like rubber carpet undelayment if I'm not mistaken but what the hell has it got to do with a Vito sax? And just the one photo. Is the seller an alien from outer space showing us the surface of his home planet? I can't stop laughing because that has to be the dumbest ad on eBay ever.
Click to expand...
I'm not interested in a Vito - but that carpet!
 
Elliot G. said:
I’ll have to dig in my treasure trove of weird listings, there’s too many just to slap them on here lol! But I did find a horn I find to be pretty cool. It seems to be a closet condition Wetklang saxophone. It’s 700 and that’s a lot for me, especial me buying saxophone repair tools just today. But if it was 350 or lower I’d buy it in a heartbeat. I love the old German and Russian horns. Especially considering I have family in Germany! But check it out, it might be gone in a few days, maybe from me or someone else (;

www.ebay.com

Old, beautiful Tenor Saxophone "Weltklang Solist" Tenorsaxophone slightly used | eBay

Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Old, beautiful Tenor Saxophone "Weltklang Solist" Tenorsaxophone slightly used at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many products!
www.ebay.com
Click to expand...
Elliot, that's an East German B&S Stencil as far as I can tell. Read what S. Howard has to say and save your money for something else. Yes I know that that shiny silver chrome is Bling-luscious but don't let that get you. I went through a Chrome period about 6 years ago and got a B&S Blue Label Tenor just as brite. Let's just say it was not the be all and end all I had imagined it would be. In no way, shape or form could it even come close to my Martin Comm III. End of story.

East German (Weltklang) tenor sax review
 
Here is today's firs contender for a dumb title:

Alto saxophone in case with engraving​

https://www.ebay.nl/itm/Alto-saxoph...309184?hash=item1f167d7e00:g:enAAAOSwTjRfTn7I
Okay, I realize that there are some younger people whose education in the English language flew right through their ear canals and into cyber space so they could learn Twitterspeak and such, but as an old fogey this caption gets me where I live. I am a retired English teacher and Linguistics student and I taught foreigners proper English that not even native speakers know how to use anymore.

I want to message the guy and ask for a photo of the engraving on the case since that is what the meaning of his text is. It's a simple misplaced modifier but begs so many questions to its stupidity.

Is the engraving on the case or is it merely inside the case along with the saxophone?

If it is the former, then what does it say and why did they bother to engrave it on the case? Engraved cases are not too common so this one must be special.

If the latter, what is the engraving done on and how is it kept from bouncing around inside the case and possibly damaging the finish of the sax?

Inquiring minds want to know.
 
Elliot G. said:
Not even a saxophone but this is quiet.. amazing.
reverb.com

sai musicals Sousaphone P-001S, Bb Green Lacquer so-12 2020 blue | Reverb

SAI MUSICAL sousaphones are ideal for beginner to professional level or student musicians. This sousaphone features a phosphorus copper lead mouth pipe, with 3 smooth action valves. Every sousaphone is play tested at our factory and re-tested by a professional to ensure that their high-qualit...
reverb.com reverb.com
Click to expand...
For those who like this Star Wars Cantinaphone, here is the sheet music for the song that goes along with it. Notice how it is apt for those who are dot-illiterate as well as those who aren't.

Sheet music deleted re copyright
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Jazz Is All said:
Here is today's firs contender for a dumb title:

Alto saxophone in case with engraving​

Alto saxophone in case with engraving | eBay
Okay, I realize that there are some younger people whose education in the English language flew right through their ear canals and into cyber space so they could learn Twitterspeak and such, but as an old fogey this caption gets me where I live. I am a retired English teacher and Linguistics student and I taught foreigners proper English that not even native speakers know how to use anymore.

I want to message the guy and ask for a photo of the engraving on the case since that is what the meaning of his text is. It's a simple misplaced modifier but begs so many questions to its stupidity.

Is the engraving on the case or is it merely inside the case along with the saxophone?

If it is the former, then what does it say and why did they bother to engrave it on the case? Engraved cases are not too common so this one must be special.

If the latter, what is the engraving done on and how is it kept from bouncing around inside the case and possibly damaging the finish of the sax?

Inquiring minds want to know.
Click to expand...
That could be worth a fortune. The sax is in Scarborough but the listing is mostly in Dutch, it could be an included engraving by Escher or even Rembrandt.
 
Jazz Is All said:
Elliot, that's an East German B&S Stencil as far as I can tell. Read what S. Howard has to say and save your money for something else. Yes I know that that shiny silver chrome is Bling-luscious but don't let that get you. I went through a Chrome period about 6 years ago and got a B&S Blue Label Tenor just as brite. Let's just say it was not the be all and end all I had imagined it would be. In no way, shape or form could it even come close to my Martin Comm III. End of story.

East German (Weltklang) tenor sax review
Click to expand...
I’ll do that (;. Maybe save up for some top end horn. We’ll see.
 
Jazz Is All said:
Here is today's firs contender for a dumb title:

Alto saxophone in case with engraving​

Alto saxophone in case with engraving | eBay
Okay, I realize that there are some younger people whose education in the English language flew right through their ear canals and into cyber space so they could learn Twitterspeak and such, but as an old fogey this caption gets me where I live. I am a retired English teacher and Linguistics student and I taught foreigners proper English that not even native speakers know how to use anymore.

I want to message the guy and ask for a photo of the engraving on the case since that is what the meaning of his text is. It's a simple misplaced modifier but begs so many questions to its stupidity.

Is the engraving on the case or is it merely inside the case along with the saxophone?

If it is the former, then what does it say and why did they bother to engrave it on the case? Engraved cases are not too common so this one must be special.

If the latter, what is the engraving done on and how is it kept from bouncing around inside the case and possibly damaging the finish of the sax?

Inquiring minds want to know.
Click to expand...
You're mocking the written English of someone who appears to be Dutch? It is on eBay.nl The Dutch do usually speak good English but I think it's a little harsh to mock someone from the Netherlands for the standard of their written English.
 

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