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CaSLM Official Banquet for Griff.

old git

Tremendous Bore
The CaSLM held the official leaving banquet for West Country Ambassador Griff at 13:00 BST today.

After initial problems with the Croydon Mafia, we were invited to dine at an Italian Restaurant after the follies of their ways was carefully explained and one fainted whilst we were gently demonstrating what might happen if they persisted in their offensive attitudes.

We realised that liquid consumption had to be restricted as Griff was driving to Exmouth and the official Zimmer Retainer had to negotiate the four armed Police barriers between the restaurant and YC Towers in Coulsdon. Therefore only five bottles of wine and thirteen Pironis were shared between the three of us. Individual thin crust Pizzas were consumed amidst friendly conversation and coffee.

After the meal, Griff introduced us to the latest modifications to his World Rally Championship works supplied Citroen Van. He is now using the single paddle right hand gear change and agrees with Sebastian that it is superior to the old up right down left twin paddle system. It is still running on gravel suspension as grounding occurs when carrying Griff's double Bb sub bass saxophone. After wishing Griff all the best with his plans to open CaSLM Embassies in various parts of the world, Griff opened his fuel tank, siphoned out a pint and drank it. Following my grasstrack racing sidecar days the fuel odour was immediately recognised, methanol with the nitro bottle tipped to Fuel Rail standards. Griff departed with all four wheels spinning pursued by Jeremy Clarkson in his AMG Mercedes and three Police cars. There goes a big, big man.

On the 312 bus used to return to og Towers, the bus was boarded by a woman so ugly that she would be rejected by the Jeremy Kyle show.

old git

Tremendous Bore
Oh! My head.

On arrival, Griff was dealing with a neglected trumpet with all the tuning slides jammed. The problem is that if you give them a good clout, you inherit big dents. Griff was using something totally new to me, a granular gell, I think was his description, that you moulded to the frozen part, then place in a microwave to harden it, and then in his words, "You can whack the gell it as hard as you like and no damage". Always thought that being a luthier meant traditional methods and if there was a traditional method, it probably included horse or cow dung. Think we'd all prefer the modern method.

Griff has promised that his replacement is a good guy and as Jon Myall, the owner is also one of the best, Croydon will still be an excellent destination for instrument repair and adjustment.

Griff, when you are about to open your new shop and by then it will really be my dotage, pm me and I'll be your first customer, even if it is just a service on the kazoo and Swanee Whistle as I'll be old enough for a booking on "Clue".

Thanks for being such a nice guy and an excellent technician.
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Young Col

Well-Known Member
Yes, from what I can remember, it's all true. Apart from the bit on the bus where I suspect OG may have caught sight of himself in a mirror. I'm sure the disagreement with the Croydon mafia was a simple misunderstanding, so I've sent the Riccardi brothers round this morning with some flowers and a small box of something just to ensure it never happens again.

Griff's successor is not only a good guy but a good Gary, so we look forward to meeting him and I'm sure JMs will remain a centre of excellence for all things woodwind. However the idea of a Summer sojourn in Devon whle Griff does the annual overhaul is very attractive. Meanwhile Griff's doing a final tweak of the Mauriat for me on his last day and if I don't get to pick it up from you personally, all the best, mate.:welldone
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