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Bullies...

Messages
181
Had an upsetting moment when I was with my tutor nearing the end of my lesson. Next door banged on the wall several times and told me to shut up.

He is a lonely old bitter and twisted bully.

He put me off sax for a couple of days, but now I'm thinking that I'm not going to let him destroy my happiness.

Has anyone ever had a problem like this? x
 

navarro

Senior Member
Messages
863
Yes Miss-saxophone it happened to me with a lady in the next apartment. So I dropped her a note through her letter box which stated " Sorry you have been disturbed with my saxophone playing and I have realised the error of my ways. You will be happy to hear that as from next week I am giving the sax up, however I am taking up handbell ringing and you will be happy to hear that our little group will be practiicing three times a week in my apartment."

Never again did she knock on my wall. But she did try and mow me down with a loaded shopping trolley in Sainsburys.

To be serious it does happen and as long as you are not practicing at unsociable hours usually some form of agreement can be reached if you give him a forewarning. I am glad you are positive in your thinking and I have now decided to move from next door to you. Just laugh it off miss-saxophone :confused::shocked::thumb: Best Regards N.
 

Fraser Jarvis

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,910
Sorry to hear of your set back, the only sarcastic comment i got once arter not having played for very was "oh your saxophone playing is getting better!) from the lady next door, to which i replied thank you very much....i guess if your not playing before 8am or after 10pm there shouldent be a problem, i know another forum member who has had a shed load of problems with his neighbour though...
 

c9off

Senior Member
Messages
604
whilst working in a pal's workshop, hanging around while the machine did it's thing - I practiced. With only a short while under my belt (like you) his only comment was stuff like 'oh think I might recognise that' To this day I try not to be heard by others closing windows & doors etc.... but with summer arriving for a week they just have to put up with my scales & general practice! Try not to worry about it.

Notice that you are looking to play with others, Community bands are a great way forward, you meet others, share ideas & info. There is a website which we have used, might be www.concert-bands.co.uk, where you can search by area - there are a few local to you so check them out also!
 

BUMNOTE

Senior Member
Messages
572
Hi,i had the same prob had been playing a while,then new neighbours moved in above me,then when i was practicing they would start banging the walls or stamping on the floorboards,at first i thought they were joining in the tune i was playing!!:))):)))Anyway each time i practiced,they kept on,so i went round and told them,no way was i giong to stop so they would have to accept it,still get the odd floor stomp now and then,usually when the female at home,seems she has to have last word.Anyway of a night time i dont practice no later than 8.30.Dont be put off,keep blowing.Bumnote.:sax::sax:
 

MandyH

Sax-Mad fiend!
Subscriber
Messages
3,551
seems she has to have last word.
Dont they all!!!
Be wary what you say young man!!

Anyway, Miss Saxophone, I personally believe that if you are playing at a sensible time (I'd go with 9am to 9pm personally, but it depends a bit on whether your neighbours have young children, or are ill etc) the neighbours can just put up with it.

It's not as if you're being intentionally malicious, and with practice you will only improve, so they are investing in their own futures by being tolerant.

Mind you, I was slightly surprised that the next-door-but-one neighbour told me she could hear me - we are all detached houses! And that was with the windows closed.

Currently, with all windows open, I suspect the whole estate can hear me :))) :welldone

Try not to be put off by people who are either narrow-minded, or maybe jealous because they can't play an instrument.
 

milandro

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,483
playing from 9 am to 9 pm would be tough for the neighbours.......but it will do wonders for your playing...... I think :)))

Seriously! We all have been there ! I play at most between 4 pm and 6 pm and still the idiot next door (he came to live there after me and I was already laying before he came) complains too or retaliates with his idiotic house music.

I told him that I am not doing anything illegal or unreasonable and to go and take a walk or do some shopping while I practice.

Some folks one can reason with others are better ignored.
 

jonf

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,680
Had an upsetting moment when I was with my tutor nearing the end of my lesson. Next door banged on the wall several times and told me to shut up.

He is a lonely old bitter and twisted bully.

He put me off sax for a couple of days, but now I'm thinking that I'm not going to let him destroy my happiness.

Has anyone ever had a problem like this? x
Tell me where he lives and I'll go round and wheelspin my bike on his b******s.

No, seriously, just put him from your mind and keep practicing. Play at a reaosnable time and he's nothing to complain about. Think about it this way. He's behaving like that because he's an idiot. In a few days you'll have forgotten all about it, but he'll still be an idiot.
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,947
Tell them some friends are coming to stay for a while - us. We have Sax, piano, flute (that can be really nasty if I have a go), guitar, cello, clarinet, recorder (even nastier than my flute), bagpipe practice chanter, various tin whistles (very shrill), double bass and a full drum kit.... They'll be grateful for the relative peace of your sax.... Now if we get a few forum members as well, with a few more instruments.....

Fortunately the neighbours are all a fair way away and most have had kids learning different instruments. I can't mow the lawn on a Sunday or religious holiday, but we do practice our instruments. Mostly loudly.
 

Lodger

Member
Messages
108
Now for something a little different. I completely sympathise with those of us who have problems with neighbours when we practise; it must be very difficult and sometimes upsetting. I am lucky, I live on a farm and our next-door neighbours are in a graveyard. However, I am a bit concerned that several posts on this thread assume (a) that we have a right to do our practising fairly regardless, and (b) anyone who objects is an idiot.

When I was a student I had a room mate above me who played the guitar. Every evening he practised, at reasonable hours, but he would always stop when he got his fingers tangled at the same point, then start again, and again, and again - he drove me crazy.

There is no easy answer; we need to practise, at reasonable hours as several posts above suggest. But bear in mind that listening to well-played saxophone music is fine if you like the saxophone. If you don't, it isn't much fun. If it is a beginner practising it can be awful, as with any instrument.

By the way - I practise in the shippon - my wife doesn't really like the sound of the saxophone!
 

Saxlicker

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,932
At the slight tangent .....

I dont play until after 9.30 a.m. in the morning and never past 8.00 p.m. in the warmer months when neighbours may have windows open. Trying to get young kids to sleep is all to fresh in my mind and I don't think its fair on them or anyone else.
Also even when i'm really at it, I'll stop at some point and take my lunch or what ever. Even if this only takes a short while I break for for 1.5 hrs to give respite.

Never had an issue where I live (touch wood) and don't even know whether i'm over cautious or have tolerant neighbours.

In the winter, fair game... everyones windows are shut and if they are outside chopping wood, drilling e.t.c. I don't think they'd have any right.
 

baritonesax

Member
Messages
256
I agree with saxlicker's reasoning. Although I live in a detached house, my neighbours are still close by. I respect the fact that people keep their windows open, or are even in their gardens, in weather such as this. Cold weather is much less problematic.

I never play later than 9pm, and I always practise with doors and windows closed - and an electric fan blowing into my face!

I would find it irritating to listen to anybody practising at length - even a virtuoso. More irritated even - I'd be envious too!
 

Tenor Viol

Full of frets in North Shropshire
Subscriber
Messages
5,940
Be wary what you say young man!!

Anyway, Miss Saxophone, I personally believe that if you are playing at a sensible time (I'd go with 9am to 9pm personally, but it depends a bit on whether your neighbours have young children, or are ill etc) the neighbours can just put up with it.

It's not as if you're being intentionally malicious, and with practice you will only improve, so they are investing in their own futures by being tolerant.

Mind you, I was slightly surprised that the next-door-but-one neighbour told me she could hear me - we are all detached houses! And that was with the windows closed.

Currently, with all windows open, I suspect the whole estate can hear me :))) :welldone

Try not to be put off by people who are either narrow-minded, or maybe jealous because they can't play an instrument.
I think you make a good point
 

Tenor Viol

Full of frets in North Shropshire
Subscriber
Messages
5,940
Tell them some friends are coming to stay for a while - us. We have Sax, piano, flute (that can be really nasty if I have a go), guitar, cello, clarinet, recorder (even nastier than my flute), bagpipe practice chanter, various tin whistles (very shrill), double bass and a full drum kit.... They'll be grateful for the relative peace of your sax.... Now if we get a few forum members as well, with a few more instruments.....

Fortunately the neighbours are all a fair way away and most have had kids learning different instruments. I can't mow the lawn on a Sunday or religious holiday, but we do practice our instruments. Mostly loudly.
For added subtlety you need to add shawms and rauschpfeife
 

Kingsleyhk

Senior Member
Messages
508
A couple of points:

1. Bullies don't like confrontation - essentially they're cowards. Stand up to him, because you have every right to do what you're doing providing you're not being unreasonable. Admittedly "reasonable" is a fairly loose concept but almost certainly a lone practice person playing at a sensible time and for a sensible length of time is "reasonable". An 18-piece big band at 200am is not!

2. Ask yourself, "Would he be making an issue of this if you were a six foot four sax-playing rugby player? Thought not - so you have absolute right on your side. He's not only stupid but sexist! Use that thought to empower yourself to and - if ultimately necessary - tell him to go forth, be fruitful and multiply - but not in those words.

3. Ask him what he would like you to do - making it clear that you won't stop. Bullies are usually unintelligent - that's why they try to intimidate you. Making him think will be difficult for him but will allow him to believe that he can have some influence while allowing you to do what you want. This helps defuse the emotion in the argument.

4. It is part and parcel of apartment living. What is unusual is for someone to make an issue of it - so he, as a number have pointed out, is the idiot. As an example, I was in an apartment in New York rented by a friend of mine. I remarked on the (not unattractive) sound of piano practice coming from upstairs. My friend responded, "Wait until the opera singer downstairs gets going." Part and parcel . . . .
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,947
Now for something a little different. I completely sympathise with those of us who have problems with neighbours when we practise; it must be very difficult and sometimes upsetting. I am lucky, I live on a farm and our next-door neighbours are in a graveyard. However, I am a bit concerned that several posts on this thread assume (a) that we have a right to do our practising fairly regardless, and (b) anyone who objects is an idiot.

When I was a student I had a room mate above me who played the guitar. Every evening he practised, at reasonable hours, but he would always stop when he got his fingers tangled at the same point, then start again, and again, and again - he drove me crazy.

There is no easy answer; we need to practise, at reasonable hours as several posts above suggest. But bear in mind that listening to well-played saxophone music is fine if you like the saxophone. If you don't, it isn't much fun. If it is a beginner practising it can be awful, as with any instrument.

By the way - I practise in the shippon - my wife doesn't really like the sound of the saxophone!
To be fair, you're right. I used to live nex to a recorder teacher and although the houses were detached, it was very intrusive. But she kept the lessons to sensible times and it was manageable.

My reply was meant tongue in cheek, but there should be a middle ground where the OP can practice. Friendly discussions should be able to achieve this. My neighbours must be tolerant, cos I can hear my youngest drumming right down the road, even with the windows closed (and they're double glazed for noise reduction). ....
 

2112sax

New Member
Messages
21
You do get the occasional upset when playing/ practicing, crochety old peeps are the worst though, dont let it put you off.
Tell them it could be worse, you could be taking up playing the drums! I know, I was that drummer!!
 
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