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A poem for anyone that's read "That Grey Book" Parental Guidance recommended!

Taz

Busking Oracle
Messages
3,661
Me missus bought a paperback
Down town on Saturday,
I had a peep into her bag;
'Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey."

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
...The sight filled me with dread.

Her left hand held a length of rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet
A cuppla minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris,
You would see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.

She stood there nude, just naked like,
Bent forward just a bit ….
I took a pace to brace meself
And stood on her left t*t!

Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!”

Well readers, I won't tell no more
What happened on that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned “fifty shades of grey”
 

Targa

Among the pigeons
Subscriber
Messages
8,896
That couldn't wait, I just went and woke my wife up to read it to her.
She was somewhat amused.
 

Zeus

Member
Messages
156
This is ...“Step on the other one!”...the moment of koryfosis=heightening!
Epic Taz!
 

navarro

Senior Member
Messages
863
Me missus bought a paperback
Down town on Saturday,
I had a peep into her bag;
'Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey."

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
...The sight filled me with dread.

Her left hand held a length of rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet
A cuppla minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris,
You would see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.

She stood there nude, just naked like,
Bent forward just a bit ….
I took a pace to brace meself
And stood on her left t*t!

Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!”

Well readers, I won't tell no more
What happened on that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned “fifty shades of grey”
Dear Mr Taz I feel I must protest at the content of your poem and formally advise you that you have been struck off the `Blue Rinse.` invited guest speaker list. Likewise the ` Octogenarian Ladies Trapeze Artists Association.(St. Albans. (Not to be confused with the OctoSwingers club of the same town, are considering a similar imposition. On threading you this I find my emotions a little like my favourite cocktail (2 parts Red Bull. A finger of vodka plus one half tablet of the substance whose name bears a passing similarity to Niagara.) stirred not shaken in case of the catapulting of ones dentures as befell Old Doris. I admire your command of the stanza but would feel quizlinestiche towards the afore mentioned `Rinsers`if I did not protest, as I am soon to be of the octosect myself. Yours Sincerely. Disgruntled Welwyn Garden City. (Brilliant Taz, transcribed in invisible ink so that the Rinsers can not see it. Regds. N. )
 

kevgermany

ex Landrover Nut
Subscriber
Messages
21,947
I keep wondering why 'Whiter Shade of Pale' and 'Fifty Shades of Grey' have the same number of syllables and emphasis. I can just see one of the singing comedians coming up with a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' based on the tune to Whiter Shade of Pale. What was that about cartwheels?
 
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